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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27660500">Echoes of the Past: Hande Kuura</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticEmptiness/pseuds/PoeticEmptiness'>PoeticEmptiness</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Arcana (Visual Novel)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, F/M, Female Apprentice (The Arcana), Fluff, Gen, Headcanon, POV First Person, POV Third Person, Pre-Canon, Suggestive Themes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 06:00:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>27,993</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27660500</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticEmptiness/pseuds/PoeticEmptiness</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is a collection of fics, ficlets and headcanons for the event Echoes of the Past on Tumblr. If you're interested, the event page can be found here: https://arcana-echoes.tumblr.com/<br/>The collection contains bits of Hande's past, (mostly) before the plague.</p><p>All of the chapters are independent works: most of them are for general audience, but some of them have rating teen and up. There are content warnings in the notes at the beginning of every chapter which have possible triggering aspects in it.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Apprentice/Julian Devorak, Hande Kuura &amp; Julian Devorak, Hande Kuura &amp; Sargon Hakimi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>6</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Part of My Deepest Self</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hande has written an essay about home for school.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Day 1: Hometown - what was the place they called “home” like? What were the people like? Did your OC like it there or did they leave the first chance they got?</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>[Hande's essay about home, for school – written in Karnassian]</p><p>A famous Forestian poet, Armas Vaahtera, has said, ”The home is not just a valley, village, lake or beach, but it is a part of our deepest selves.” I'm a child of two cultures; my baba (father) is from Karnassos and my äiti (mother) is from Hjalle, a coastal city in the South. When äiti and baba got married, they decided to move to Karnassos – my baba is an architect and in Karnassos he'd have better opportunities to practice his profession, but my äiti, who is a seamstress, could practice her own anywhere. By that decision Karnassos became the home of my family.</p><p>Although I've only lived quite a short amount of time, I've always thought of Karnassos as my home. The city is full of life: lots of people buzzling on the streets, the houses are decorative and colourful – even the humbler ones – and people are friendly. In our neighbourhood, everyone knows everyone, although we are located quite near of the city centre. It's important to respect older people, but also adults and seniors are polite and encouraging towards children. Everyone asks how your family is and if your school is going well – education is very appreciated in Karnassian community. I like it, because people still aren't too intrusive, and respect that not everyone does things same way as themselves. I always feel very safe when I'm moving in the city: there's always someone I can turn to. The marketplace is the heart of our neighbourhood with numerous booths selling bread, fruit, different dishes and handicrafts from fabrics to pottery. Karnassos is very lively city, and I enjoy it very much.</p><p>Karnassos has a special place in my heart, but it's not the only place I call home. My family visits my äiti's hometown, Hjalle, regularly. My grandpa, Armas, still lives there at the same house where my äiti grew up. Äiti's big brother, my uncle Paavo, lives there too with his family. The house is located on the edge of the Spirit Forest (Henkeinmetsä in Hongas), by a small lake. The area is quite sparsely populated: there are just a few other houses by the lake and some descendants of the Forest people still live in the Spirit Forest. My äiti's family is also part of the Hjalle's minority group, the Forest people. Instead of Hjallean, their mother tongue is Hongas. Grandpa's house brings the perfect counterbalance to Karnassos' buzzling and I enjoy the ability to connect to the nature and swimming in the lake – it helps me to relax and I feel a strong connection to my magic out there. </p><p>Grandpa Armas is the only living grandparent I still have, and I love him very much: he's very kindhearted, has a great sense of humor and is a talented healer. He also raised his five children as a single parent after my grandma, Mielikki, died of eclampsia after giving birth to my youngest uncle, Ilkka. Every time we travel to Hjalle, grandpa, as well as uncle Paavo, make sure we feel very welcome. Sometimes they take us the city centre which is livelier area than the neighbourhood of my grandpa and uncle. We need to cross the lake by rowboat and then continue rowing along the river until we reach a small port reserved for rowboats. There's also a marketplace, but it's quite different from the one in Karnassos: mostly they are selling fish, berries, handicrafts made from wood and metal and remedies. People don't talk necessarily to strangers, but I think that's fine: I can just mind my own business without stopping every time someone wants to talk with me – which happens a lot in Karnassos. Still, people are very polite and honest to others – if a Hjallean or Forestian person promises something, they keep it.</p><p>So, to me a home isn't just a place. I love both Karnassos and Hjalle as places, but the people there are the essence for my feeling of having a home. That said, I'm a proud person with two homes – that fact is a part of my deepest self.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>- Forestian = a word to describe a person who is a descendant of Hjalle's Forest people<br/>- Armas Vaahtera is really a Finnish poet Eino Leino (1878 – 1926), and the quote about home is from him. The English translation made by me.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Two Worlds, One Family</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>One day of Gul-Kuura family.<br/>Day 2: Parents - what kind of people were/are they? What was your OCs relationship like with them?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's an early spring afternoon. The weather is still cool, but not as cold as it was a few weeks ago. A celebrations of New Spring had ended a day before and Karnassos was back to its everyday activities. On the outskirts of the city centre there is a house a little different from others: while the facades of neighbouring houses have more restrained colour schemes, this one is thoroughly mint-coloured. It's the house of architect Sardar Gul and his family – the man designed the house himself, when he got engaged with his wife, Helena Kuura. The inside of the house is a mixture of Karnassian and Hjallean style: high rooms, arched doors and windows with lots of wooden materials and tiled stoves, a fireplace in a living room, as well as a sauna. At the moment Sardar is working at his office in the city centre, while Helena works at home and keeps an eye of their two daughters, Hande and Salma.</p><p>Helena is busy. She's in her study with a customer while her daughters are playing with the customer's son. The girls know they can't burst into study just for a whim – it has to be something really important. This commission is very beneficial: the customer is a sister of the city mayor, and she needs a gown for a state visit of Nasrin Satrinava, the queen of Prakra. Helena lets the customer do most of the talking since she needs to concentrate, and although she's already lived in Karnassos for ten years she still hasn't got quite used to the way Karnassians keep mincing their words. In Hjalle, where she's from, people usually go straight to the point, or at least Forestians¹ do. Helena fixes the cut of the gown with pins and utters some sounds and one-word answers for her customer's discussion. When she's done with the fixes, she stands up to inspect the gown. It looks much better now and will surely be an eye-turner at the state visit. </p><p>”What do you think, khanum² Hakimi? The cut is better now, but is there anything else you want me to do?” Helena asks her customer. Khanum Hakimi turns around and inspects the gown in the mirror, looking pleased, ”You have exceeded yourself, khanum Kuura. This gown will be marvellous, and I can't wait it to be ready!” Her voice is deep, warm and soft, which makes the compliment even more pleasant. Helena casts her gaze to her feet – although she knows she's a skilled seamstress, actual praises still makes her feel modest and shy. She smiles bashfully, meets her customer's eyes and answers, ”Thank you. I'm just doing my job, but I'm happy that you are satisfied with the gown.” Khanum Hakimi just smiles – she knows how modest Helena Kuura can be, and lets Helena help her undress the gown before she changes back to her current outfit.</p><p>When Helena opens the door of her studio for khanum Hakimi, her daughters immediately run towards her, khanum Hakimi's son on their tail. Her firstborn, 8-year-old Hande, is the first to reach the adults, but her sister Salma is there just a moment after Hande. Both of them exclaim at the same time: ”Äiti, äiti, et ikinä arvaa, mitä me –³” Before the girls can carry on Helena interrupts them with a determined, but a lenient tone, ”Darlings, what have I told you about the use of a language in which all the members of a group don't understand?” The faces of the girls are filled with realisation and Hande switches to Karnassian, ”Sorry, khanum Hakimi. We're so used to talking in Hongas with äiti that we forgot.” Khanum Hakimi just smiles, ”No need to apologize, I understand. Is there something you want to tell us?” Also Helena nods encouraginly at the girls, so they start to explain in unison, ”Yes! We were in the backyard with Sargon, playing.” Salma continues the story on her own, ”Later Hande wanted to climb a tree and she climed pretty high. Hande, tell what happened then!” Salma shrieks excitedly.</p><p>Hande has a smug smile on her face when she speaks, ”I tried to climb to see for the city, but then I saw some animal on a branch above me. When I looked at it in more detail, I noticed it was a manul! I tried to tell about that to Salma and Sargon quietly, but then the manul noticed me and ran away. But Salma and Sargon saw it as well!” Hande then looks at her sister and friend, and Sargon finally opens his mouth: ”Yes, we saw it jump on the wall! It was exciting!” Salma nods at his remarks with a wide smile on her face. The two women look at each other a little surprised, but then both of them start smiling. ”That was an exciting adventure! I'm still glad that you realised not to approach the cat, Hande. If they are scared, they might injure you.” Helena says. Khanum Hakimi agrees with that and then turns to her son, ”Sargon, I hope you behaved yourself and were really nice to the girls.” Sargon looks even a little offended of that last remark, but answers, ”Yes, mama.” Surprisingly, Salma speaks first, ”Yes, Sargon was really nice. He gave me a piggyback ride and he also helped me to see the manul.”</p><p>Khanum Hakimi smiles at Salma, who she knows is shy, ”That's wonderful. Unfortunately, we must be on our way – still so much to do today. Sargon, say goodbye for the girls. Thank you so much, khanum Kuura, and thank you, girls, for keeping Sargon company. May you all stay healthy and have a good day.” She then places her right hand on her heart and bows a little. Helena answers the gesture, while Hande and Salma wave their goodbyes to Sargon. After a little hustle the Hakimis leave the house and Helena can call it a day. She closes her studio and then goes to the kitchen to prepare the dinner. Usually Sardar would be at home by now, but Helena knows how sometimes Sardar needs to work overtime. Hande and Salma come to ask, if their mother needs some help, and during the cooking they tell about their days to each other.</p><p>A little later a key turns in a lock and the front door opens. A warm and cheerful voice echoes in the hallway, ”I'm home! Where are my girls?” Hande and Salma immediately run to the hallway while Helena walks behind them. Sardar squats with his arms open and the girls immediately jump into his arms, shouting ”baba” repeatedly. The man hugs and kisses his daughters grinning like a fool – every day he looks like he's been away for weeks and is extremely overjoyed to see his family again, ”How's my little sunshine and my little flower? Had a good day, I hope?” Sardar rises up, but still keeps hugging his daughters while they tell about their day and seeing the manul. He shares their excitement and kisses them once again before letting them go to greet his wife. </p><p>Helena smiles when Sardar takes her into his arms and plants a quick kiss on her lips – he knows she doesn't care for public displays of affection too much. ”Welcome home, my love,” Helena says, taking in her husband's scent, ”How was your day?” Sardar steps back to look at Helena, but still holds her hand, ”The same as usual. My design for a new hospital was accepted so it's only a matter of time when they start building it. I'm sorry I was late today – I went to see mama and baba after work. They send their love to all of you. They also got a letter from Afsoun. She's coming for a visit next week.” Helena ushers everyone to the kitchen, because the dinner is ready. The warm chit-chat continues at the dining table – the atmosphere is full of laughter and love. Sardar suggests that they'd travel to Hjalle later that month to see Helena's family, which evokes a thrilled reaction in the girls – they haven't seen their maternal grandpa or their uncle and cousins for a long time. Helena is also pleased to have a chance to see her family. </p><p>After the dinner the family plays backgammon in the living room together as teams: Hande and Sardar play against Helena and Salma. Later Hande goes into her room to practice for her violin lesson while the other members of the family stay in the living room, having a discussion. When Hande is done with her practicing she joins the others and Sardar takes his barbat and starts playing an old Karnassian song. Hande is singing while Helena and Salma dance, having a few laughs. When Salma gets tired of dancing, Helena lights the fireplace and Sardar puts the barbat away. Sardar and the girls make themselves comfortable on the pillows, when Helena starts to tell stories about the creatures of Henkeinmetsä, the Spirit Forest in Hjalle. There are spirits protecting the forest, pixies, faes, goblins and trolls... Sometimes Sardar plays one of the creatures and teases Hande and Salma, making them giggle. </p><p>When the story time is over, Salma has already fallen asleep. Sardar carries her to her bedroom while Hande and Helena go to wash themselves. Sardar and Helena come to tuck Hande in and wish her good night before going to bed themselves. They discuss of the tasks of the next day while cuddling. Sardar begins to drift off, and Helena turns out the candle before she falls asleep as well.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>¹ Forestians are a minority group of Hjalle, the official name is Forest people.<br/>² Mrs/Madam in Karnassian<br/>³ ”Mom, mom! You never guess, what we --”</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Just a Little Willpower</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hande gets a new friend and discovers, that there might more to her than meets the eye.<br/>Day 3: Magic - talk about their magic, when did they discover it? Did they have to learn how to use it or did it come naturally?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sardar Gul and Helena Kuura have decided to go to the park with their little daughters. It's a warm summer day, but not too hot, so they have taken necessities for a picnic and the children can play with each other. Sardar has set a blanket on the ground under a tree, so they'll have shade from the sun. Hande and Salma only have patience to eat a little bread and dried fish, before they want to go playing one of their imaginary plays. As Sardar and Helena have ordered, they are staying close enough that their parents can see them all the time. A little later Hande notices that there's another family nearby: they also have a child, but they are playing on their own. Hande says that to Salma and states that they should ask the child to play with them. Salma is a little reserved, because she's a little afraid of new people, but Hande explains that it wouldn't be fair if they left the child all alone. After that Salma agrees. Hande asks her parents if they can go to that other family to ask their child to play with them, and they give the girls permission.</p>
<p>Hande takes Salma's hand and the duo starts to approach the other family. When the girls are getting close, all of them turn to see them. The parents seem a little concerned, but Hande just smiles to them and chirps, ”Hello! My name is Hande and this is my sister Salma. Can we play with your child?” The parents seem a little surprised, but pleased about her gesture and turn to their child, ”Azita-joon¹, would you like to play with these girls?” The child hesitantly faces Hande and Salma. She turns out to be a girl, as well. She has straight, black hair which reaches over her shoulders. Her skin is light brown, the face quite narrow. She has a Roman nose, and one amber-coloured eye. The left one is clouded and that half of her face is stretched and has patches of red on it – like it's been burned. Hande and Salma both look a little surprised, and the latter watches questioningly to her sister. Hande decides to smile and wave to Azita, and Salma follows suit. Azita tries to hide the left side of her face with her hair, but smiles and waves back. Then Hande asks, ”How old are you? I am five, and Salma is three.” Salma shows her age with her fingers when Hande speaks. ”I am five, too,” Azita answers. Hande's face lightens up, ”Great! Do you want to come with us? We are not going far, our mummy and daddy are over there,” she points at her parents' direction while speaking. </p>
<p>Azita looks at the girls once again. There doesn't seem to be any ill intentions behind their request, and she really wants to have friends. She shyly nods to them and Hande grins happily, ”Let's play tag! You better run, I'm coming!” Salma starts to shriek excitedly and runs away from the group. Azita soon follows and the park is filled with the girls' laughter. After some time the girls sit down on a stone to rest for a little, taking sips of water from waterskins their parents have provided to them. Salma is now at ease, after getting accustomed to Azita, but holds her sister's hand – just in case. Hande is eyeing Azita, wondering if she should ask about her face. She has been taught not to ask intrusive questions from others, but she's very curious about those marks and Azita's clouded eye. Finally, Hande's curiosity takes over. </p>
<p>”What happened to your face?” Hande asks bluntly.<br/>
The other girl becomes a little bashful after the question. She's scared that they're going to run away, if she tells them. But the duo is still there, and they have seen her face already, so maybe she could tell them.<br/>
”A nasty person threw acid on my face.”<br/>
”What is acid?” the younger of the siblings asks.<br/>
”It's like water, but if it touches you, it hurts your skin,” answers the older one. Then she turns to face Azita with a woeful expression on her face, ”That is very nasty to do! Why they did it?”<br/>
”I don't know...”<br/>
”Okay... Does it hurt?” Hande asks timidly.<br/>
”Not anymore. I just don't see with my other eye.” Azita points at her clouded eye when speaking. </p>
<p>Hande looks pensive for a moment, but then a bright smile rises to her face and she shrieks, ”It doesn't matter! Do you want to play something else?” Azita couldn't believe her ears – she still wants to play with her! She didn't run away or say anything mean to her! Azita gives a lopsided smile and nods excitedly. Hande's smile turns into a grin and she turns to her sister, ”What do you want to play, Salma?” The younger sister thinks for a moment before she exclaims, ”Hide and seek!” while jumping happily, still holding Hande's hand. Azita's smiling now properly and suggests that she can be a seeker first. Hande and Salma agree. Azita turns her back on the two, crouching against the stone, ”One, two, three...” With that, Hande and Salma silently run away to find hiding places.</p>
<p>As Azita has counted to ten, she turns around and starts to looking for the sisters. She must admit that the girls have done good work, because she has to go a little further from her starting point than she had anticipated. Azita approaches a tree which seems to be a good hiding place. She doesn't get a chance to inspect any further when she sees some older children coming to her way. They seem a little too rowdy for her taste so she tries to hide, but too late: they have already noticed her. ”Hey! What are you doing there?” shouts a child who seems to be a leader of the group. Azita turns her face away, trying to hide her scarred side. It's no use, because one of the children takes her arm and turns her by force to meet the others. All of the children gasp in disgust, ”Ugh, look at that face – so ugly!” shouts the child who turned Azita around. The leader chorus the sentiment and jeers, ”Yeah, she looks like Ahriman²! What are you doing, evil spirit? Going to cry?” Azita's eyes are indeed filled with tears. She's so afraid and isn't sure if her parents are going to notice what's going on. The children circle around her, sneering, and the leader starts to push her, while the other pushes her back. </p>
<p>Azita is too afraid to do anything, but move along, tears falling down her face. After a time that feels like an eternity, she hears a familiar voice shouting, ”TENHASH BEDAR!³” It's Hande, running towards the group, looking very angry. First the bullies turn around surprised, but after they realise their defier is just a toddler, they burst out laughing. Hande calls out her parents who hear her, but still approaches the bullies, ”Leave her alone!” The group's leader stares at Hande mockingly and grins, ”What are you going to do, brat, cry for us?” The other children start to laugh at that remark. Hande's looking furious, keeping an eye contact. The leader starts to approach Hande menacingly, but she doesn't budge. Her hands clench into fists and she just looks the older child dead in the eye when she growls, ”Go. Away!” Before the leader reaches Hande, a branch of the nearby tree hits the child hardly on the face, and they fall by the impact. The other children back off from Azita, fear clear on their faces. When the leader rises up, their face is filled with scratches – some of them are even bleeding. After they recover from the shock, they notice their injuries and stare Hande, horrified. Then they shriek, ”She's a bloody witch! C'mon, let's go!” And with that, they turn on their heels and start running, the other children following right behind them. Hande rushes towards Azita to see if she's okay, and then Salma comes out from her hideout (under the tree's huge root system), looking shaken.</p>
<p>Luckily Azita is only probably going to have a single bruise from the attack – she's more scared than hurt. When the adults finally arrive to the scene, the bullies have already ran too far away to try to catch them. Still, they all have seen how Hande had ran to Azita's aid and how that tree branch had miraculously slapped one of the bullies after they have started to approach Hande. Azita's parents were awed by the ”luck” of that, but Hande's and Salma's parents suspected it could have been Hande's own doing. Neither of them have magical abilities, but Sardar's sister and one of Helena's brothers have, and there have been many magicians in both of their families before. After Azita's parents have thanked Hande for defending their daughter, Sardar and Helena take their eldest a little further from the others to speak with her in private. Helena decides to speak first and asks her daughter in Hongas, ”Darling, I'm very proud of you for defending Azita. Those other children were really mean. I just want to ask: the tree branch moved although there was no wind, so do you know if you caused that?”</p>
<p>Hande looks a little confused. The little girl doesn't understand the motive of this question and becomes a little afraid, wondering if she did something wrong. Both of her parents notice that and Helena hastily adds, ”Hande darling, I only ask because I want to understand what happened. You haven't done anything wrong, and mommy and daddy are not angry at you. Do you remember, what happened before the branch hit that child?” Hande seems to think for a moment and then bashfully answers, ”I hoped that the branch would hit that mean child...” Helena and Sardar quickly glance at each other, and then both of them smile at Hande understandingly. Sardar takes now over, ”Hah, that serves that brat right! Hande, that means you might have magical powers!” Hande looks dumbfounded, not quite understanding the situation. Her parents assure her that there's nothing to be afraid of, and she just needs a teacher so she could learn to control her magic. Before they go home, Azita comes to hug Hande and thank her – no one has ever stood up to her, except for her parents. All the girls wave their goodbyes and are happy, that they have gotten a new friend.</p>
<p>
  <i>A month later...</i>
</p>
<p>Sardar and Helena are in the living room with Afsoun, Sardar's sister, and Hugo, Helena's younger brother. Hande's parents invited them to Karnassos after the incident with the tree branch, because both of them are skilled magicians. ”Hande indeed has magic in her,” Afsoun states, ”Although her powers are understandably a little unpolished, she seems to have strong connection to water and earth.” Hugo nods beside her and adds, ”Yes, Afsoun is right. I've also noticed she has a knack of healing, and I think we should harness her powers together.” Afsoun agrees with that. Sardar and Helena both look a little tense – although they don't fear magic, this is a lot to take in. Helena turns from her husband to her brother and says, ”But I've never seen a five-year-old to manifest magic! Hande is so young, how could she make that happen even without realising it?” Afsoun takes Helena's hand and pats it soothingly while Hugo smiles at her, ”Hellu, don't worry. Yes, Hande is a little younger than usual to manifest magical powers, but it's not impossible, either. Magic sounds very complex and some rituals are that, but generally magic is actually quite simple. All you need is just a little willpower,” Hugo chuckles a little before continuing, ”and Hande seems to have LOTS of it.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>¹ joon = word of endearment in Karnassian<br/>² Ahriman or Angra Mainyu, is an evil spirit from Persian mythology. The lord of Darkness and Chaos – the source of human confusion, dissapointment and strife.<br/>³ ”LEAVE HER ALONE!”</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Hitting the Books</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A headcanon about Hande's education.<br/>Day 4: Education - did they go to a private school, were taught at home, or taught themselves? Did they have a favorite subject?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hande's parents appreciate the education immensely and they wanted to ensure that both of their daughters get proper education. Unfortunately, although Karnassos is a city with general appreciation of education, it doesn't have a public school system: there are private schools for the children of the rich, tutors for the middle class and working class and poor people only get to learn to read and write, as well as a little arithmetic from a local priest or merchant. Since Gul-Kuura family is part of the middle class, they were able to hire a tutor who would teach their daughters at home. Both of the children started studying at the age of 7 – when Salma was yet too young for studying, she tried to occupy herself with playing or drawing etc., but sometimes she tried to entertain Hande by sneaking behind the teacher and making faces behind him while Hande tried not to laugh. Later, when Salma was old enough to join the lessons, their tutor taught them at a same time, but with different subjects suitable for their grade.</p>
<p>Hande's and Salma's former tutor is Basir Akhtar, a middle-aged man with straight, black hair and warm hazel-coloured eyes. He had an official education to be a teacher. Basir had taught children of several families before Sardar and Helena hired him. Women are respected in Karnassian culture, but some of the more conservative people think, that girls don't need to learn about social science or psychology, but Sardar and Helena both disagree with that. They found it important, that the future tutor of their daughters would respect them and understand the importance of proper education, and Basir Aktar was more than willing to give proper education to girls as well. He tutored the Kuura sisters for the length of their whole education – for Salma that meant until her death at the age of 14, and for Hande until she became of age at the age of 18. </p>
<p>Basir Akhtar didn't live with the Gul-Kuura family, but had his own house in the neighbourhood, so it was decided he lived there. Hande and Salma always called him agha Akhtar, mister Akhtar in Karnassian. Agha Akhtar, for his part, always called the girls Hande khanum and Salma khanum (the word ”khanum” can also be used for a title miss). The girls had school from Monday to Friday and a school day was always from 9 to 15. Agha Akhtar came to Gul-Kuura family's house every day at 8:30 precisely to prepare the class room which was a little library and study quite near Hande's and Salma's bedrooms. Lunch break was at 11 o'clock, and either Helena or Sardar (whoever was home that day) prepared the lunch which the family and agha Akhtar enjoyed together discussing anything, but school matters.  </p>
<p>Hande and Salma had a wide curriculum for them: agha Akhtar taught them subjects, such as Karnassian, mathematics, foreign languages (including Vesuvian common tongue and Hjallean), worldview science (practically philosophy, moral principles and different religions in a general way). Also, when the girls became older, he began to teach them history, social science, biology &amp; geography, health education and psychology. Hande's favourite subjects were history, psychology and creative writing. She also enjoyed studying in general and was good at it. Salma had some trouble with a few subjects (mathematics, for example) and couldn't concentrate that well, but although agha Akhtar was a firm teacher, he also was patient and understanding, and always saw potential in his every student. Hande has her curiosity, intelligence, passion for understanding people and creativity. Salma was smart, especially when it came to reading people and situations, was very skilled with handicrafts and sports. Agha Akhtar created some special methods to help Salma learn better, and Hande also helped her sister.</p>
<p>Usually both Hande and Salma behaved themselves during their classes, but sometimes they got lapse in concentration, and they started to goof around or tried to trick agha Akhtar with little practical jokes. Usually then agha Akhtar gave them a little recess and if they still were causing trouble, he separated them. He never used physical punishment or humiliation, but discussed about misbehavior and its consequences with the girls. Although agha Akhtar spoke to them in formal way through their whole education, he loved them like they were his own children and was always proud of their moments of success. He was devastated when he heard about the death of Salma and tried to help Hande to come in terms with her loss during their lessons after the incident. Agha Akhtar became a family friend of Gul-Kuura family, and he was invited to dinners even after the ending of Hande's tutoring. When Hande moved to Vesuvia, she had correspondence with her former tutor until her own death. </p>
<p>Agha Akhtar can't speak Hongas, so Helena taught that to her daughters herself. She also taught them handicrafts, such as knitting and sewing. Sardar also took part of education of his daughters: he taught them visual arts, and when he noticed that Salma was interested in barbat, taught her to play it. While visiting in Hjalle when the children were little, their parents noticed, that Hande showed great interest in vielle/violin while she saw a local band playing folk music. When Hande was 6 years old, she got a vielle/violin as a birthday gift from her uncle Paavo, who had made the instrument himself, and her parents searched a teacher for her. In addition to creative subjects, Hande got lessons in magic from her aunt Afsoun and uncle Hugo.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Morendo</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This fic tells about Afsoun Gul, the paternal aunt of Hande.<br/>Day 5: The "Aunt" - how did your OC get the shop in Vesuvia? Was it given to them by their aunt or other family member?</p><p>CW: a mention of miscarriage &amp; a character death</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Afsoun Gul, the firstborn of Kourosh and Aytan Gul. The apple of her parents' eyes – for so many times had they tried to have a child, but all of them had ended in miscarriage. When Afsoun let out her first cry, both of her parents burst into tears of joy – they finally had a child who survived the pregnancy. They thought it was a miracle, like magic, so they named her Afsoun which means charm or spell in Karnassian. She stayed healthy and grew up in a loving, if a little overprotective home. Her olive skin, wavy, dark brown hair, Roman nose and bright, green eyes drew everyone's attention even when she was a child. Although she was outgoing, she had this mysterious aura around her. Just over a month after she had turned 8, she surprisingly became the big sister to a baby brother, Sardar. Despite their age difference, the siblings grew closer as Sardar grew up. At the age of 11 Afsoun started to manifest magic. Her maternal grandmother trained her first, but after her passing, she studied on her own – when she was 25, she moved to Vesuvia and bought a magic shop to practice her occupation as a magician.</i>
</p><p>”Listen, I just got a letter from Afsoun,” Sardar states seriously when he comes to living room where Helena and Hande are knitting. Both of the women raises their heads from their works and scrutinise Sardar questioningly. His expression is worried, ”She told me she's come down with something, but isn't sure what. She belittles it, of course, and I don't like it one bit, I think we must go see her – it might be serious.” Helena and Hande look at each other, worry clear on their faces, as well. Afsoun rarely became ill and it must be something serious, if she doesn't know what it is. Helena thinks for a moment, before talking to her husband, ”Love, what do you think, if we also ask Hugo to join us? He understands magical aspects of healing and illnesses better than anyone I know – he's taught Hande, after all.” Sardar's eyes are filled with adoration and his grimace turns into a hopeful smile, ”Esheq zendegua men¹, that's a wonderful idea! Why didn't I think of that? Could you please write to him immediately? He can come straight to Vesuvia, if he's available.” </p><p>They leave the very next day. Sardar has rented a carriage for them. Hande doen't like to be that near to horses, but she swallows her fear and with trembling hands she enters the carriage. Once she's inside it gets a little easier, but she's ashamed that she's so horrified of those innocent creatures. Once her parents are inside with her, both of them take her hands in their own – like they could sense her fear – and smile to her encouragingly. ”It's going to be okay, afetab men². Just deep breaths,” Sardar says calmingly. Hande closes her eyes and breaths. She feels the hands of her parents and finds it relieving – she's safe. After some time, she finally opens her eyes and looks around. The panic has been subsided, and they can start their journey to Vesuvia.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><i>
  <br/>
  <b>Three days later</b>
  <br/>
</i><p>Afsoun's whole body aches. She had hoped to open her shop today, but how could she? Even a thought of leaving her bed makes her body ache more. But she has to, there are still chores to do, and who would take care of Azar if not her? With a groan, Afsoun rises up – it really worsens her pain, but she ignores it. Now is not time for lying around. She drags herself to the bathroom to wash her face and teeth, but almost loses her balance when she glances in a mirror. She can't believe her eyes, and moves closer to see better. ”Oh my goodness...” slips from her mouth. Her scleras have turned to crimson. <i>This is bad... I need to see a doctor.</i> She forces herself to change clothes, put on a shawl to prevent others to notice her eyes and puts protection spells on her shop's front door, before she leaves to visit Dr. Satrinava. She has even co-operated with them a few years ago and she knows they are in town right now.</p><p>Normally Afsoun would just walk, but she feels so exhausted already she takes a carriage to bring her to the outskirts of South End. She has heard, that instead of the Palace (Countess Nadia is their sister, after all) Dr. Satrinava is staying in an inn at South End, and is currently visiting their former apprentice, who has a clinic there. Luckily the driver knows where the clinic is and they are there in no time. Afsoun pays the driver and thank them before knocking on the clinic's door. She hears a voice of an unfamiliar person calling her to come in and she opens the door. She looks around her: the clinic is small, but clean and cozy. In the office there's a young, tall, lanky man with curly auburn hair and grey eyes. His skin is even paler than Hande's, Afsoun notices. ”Good morning! How can I help you?” greets the man with lively and warm voice. He seems to be a nice person, Afsoun thinks before she answers, ”Good morning. I have heard, that Dr. Satrinava is at the South End. Are they here?” </p><p>Before the man can answer, Afsoun hears some voice from the back room, and when the door opens, there comes Dr. Satrinava with their red shawl and playful glint in their violet eyes. ”Did someone call for me?” they ask in that always friendly tone of theirs. Afsoun can't help, but grin, ”I should have known, that instead of that fancy Palace you'd stay in the rowdier parts of this town, Nazali.” Dr. Satrinava looks a little pensive at first, but then a recognition hits them, ”Could that be always so mysterious magician Afsoun Gul? It's been ages! Didn't know you've started to use shawls during summer!” They approach Afsoun to hug them, but Afsoun steps back, ”I think it would be better, if you don't come too close to me. I have come down with some foul disease, and I don't know if it's contagious.” Before she can explain any further, the red-haired man opens his mouth, confused, ”Erm, you two know each other?” Nazali glances at the man and slams their hand on their forehead, ”Where are my manners? Yes, Afsoun, this is Dr. Julian Devorak, a former apprentice of mine and now a doctor with his own clinic. Julian, this is Afsoun Gul, a gifted magician – don't give that face, Julian! I'm sorry, he's a little jumpy about magic – who helped me with some tenacious epidemic a few years ago.” </p><p>Although Dr. Devorak seems to be wary about the fact, that Afsoun is a magician, he still smiles to her and greets her very politely – one could say he's actually charming. ”Please to meet you, Dr. Devorak. You don't need to worry, I won't bite,” Afsoun says a little mischief in her voice. Dr. Devorak relaxes a little and lets out a chuckle, ”Please, call me Julian. Friends of Dr. Satrinava's are my friends, too.” Afsoun smiles, although none of the others can see it because of her shawl. Then Nazali asks, what is this ”foul disease” Afsoun is talking about. Suddenly, Afsoun remembers her aches again and her legs give out. Julian catches her in time and helps her to sit on a chair. ”Well, for a few days I've only had a sore throat and muscle aches. Today, I saw this,” Afsoun says and takes down her shawl to reveal her eyes. Nazali's eyes widen in surprise and worry when they see Afsoun's eyes, ”Oh no... Not you, too...”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div>Disbelief. Numbness. Those are the things Afsoun is feeling on her way back home. She who was almost never ill, has come down with something even doctors don't know, what it exactly is. Only that all who have gotten it so far, haven't survived it. Nazali has told Afsoun that her case is the second one they've seen in Vesuvia – others have been on battle fields. They also said not to throw in the towel, but Afsoun couldn't share their optimism. This disease is unknown, so what are the odds she's going to survive that? Not so great. Nazali promised to come to see her every day at home calls – well, at least she'll be in good hands when it comes to pain relief... She also thanks her sense, that she had made her will years ago, just in case. All will go to her niece, Hande.<p>Afsoun had never married or had children of her own. That didn't bother her, though – she has never wanted those things to herself, after all. She has always been more than happy with her friends, Sardar and his family. She's only going to be sorry, how much pain she'll cause to Sardar with this. Like he hasn't lost enough already... How on Earth has she gotten this disease, she just can't understand it. A fit of cough takes control of her body – like the aches weren't enough already. Well, if Hande decides to keep the shop, she's going to be great with shopkeeping: customers love her, she's extremely skilled magician for her age and she has also intelligence which will help her with budgeting and bookkeeping. Luckily she's already 21 years old, so she's also more than capable to move to live on her own.</p><p>When the carriage arrives in front of her shop, she's surprised: there's another carriage in front of it. <i>Oh no... Could it be Sardar?</i> Now Afsoun regrets that she has told her brother about her disease. Painstakingly she manages to get out of her carriage and pay the driver. Afsoun drags herself towards her home's door and yes: Sardar, Helena and Hande are standing there, looking puzzled and worried. When Afsoun makes her presence known to others, Sardar and Hande both are trying to come to hug her, but she stops them, ”No! It might be contagious!” She explains her visit to see Nazali and how her prognosis is far from good. She even tries to convince them to return home, even when she knows it's taken them many days to travel here. Sardar and Helena won't hear any of it and tell, how they have also invited Helena's younger brother, Hugo, to see if he could do something. Afsoun lets out a sigh, ”Oh well, but please, be very careful and remember to wash your hands as often as possible.” With that, Sardar helps his sister to enter back to her home while Helena and Hande follow suit. </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>
  <i>
    <b>A week later</b>
  </i>
</p><p>It's over. Afsoun Gul has passed away at the age of 55 with her brother, sister-in-law, niece and brother of her sister-in-law by her side. The disease took its toll of Afsoun really fast and no matter what Nazali, Hugo or Hande tried to do to help her, nothing could be done. Sardar has broken down completely, crying beside her big sister's bed – he is now the only living member of his family. </p><p>Although Helena nor Hande cry easily, both of their faces are now covered with tears. Hugo is also sad, although Afsoun wasn't as close to him as she was to Helena's family. He also knows, how much they all have already gone through, and this is just too much. The soldiers of Count Lucio had come to the shop and demanded, that Afsoun's corpse should be given for them to burn, but Sardar got furious – his wife and daughter had never seen him like that. Sardar stated, that Afsoun's body will be moved to Karnassos where she will be buried beside their parents. ”The Count has taken enough away from me – he won't take my sister's body. End of discussion!” had Sardar shouted to them, and soldiers decided it would be better to give in, especially since they had a Satrinava on their side. </p><p>Later that day, Helena finds Afsoun's will while cleaning her room. She asks everyone to the kitchenette where she opens it. Helena offers the document to Sardar, but he shakes his head, eyes still red due to all crying. Helena nods and takes her husband's hand when she starts to read the will. Only Hande seems surprised about the fact, that Afsoun has left all of her possessions to her – including her shop. ”But... Why me?” she whispers, staring at the table. Sardar sniffs and turns to her daughter, ”Because, afetab men, you are the only one of us, who can do magic. She doesn't have her own children and she has trained you since you were a toddler. Afsoun is... was proud of you and I think she wanted to give you a chance to live your own life.” </p><p>”But what about going to university? You have saved money so I could go to Prakra to study even more magic...” Helena takes her daughter's hand and squeezes it reassuringly, speaking in Hongas, ”My darling, of course you don't need to decide yet. You have many options: you can sell the shop, rent it or keep it and apply to university later. Me and your father just want you to be happy, so don't do anything you think we expect you to do. Give yourself time and think carefully, what YOU want to do.” Hugo nods in approval and Sardar has understood his wife's words as well, and agrees in Karnassian, ”Your mother is right. You are 21 years already, it's your own life and it should be you who make the decisions.” Hande looks at her parents and uncle. She hasn't ever needed to make a decision that big, and only a thought of that makes her skin crawl. Well, like äiti and baba had said, she has time – luckily...</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>
  <i>Dear Asra,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I'm sure you have heard by now, that amme³ Afsoun has died. It was some foul disease, which the doctors there or even my uncle Hugo have never seen before – they all were flabbergasted. My family and me were there, when it happened, and it was heartbreaking to witness her withering away in a week... I'm sorry I didn't tell you I was coming there – I was so worried about amme and the disease seems to be contagious, so I didn't want to risk your health and life. We (me, äiti, baba and Hugo) needed to be quarantined for two weeks at amme's house. Luckily none of us got infected...</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I have a surprise for you: I'm going to move to Vesuvia. We found Afsoun's will and she has left her shop and all of her other possessions to me. I was surprised for that – yes, I am the only magician of my family, but still... I have discussed the matter with my äiti and baba, and they thought the magic shop gives a better opportunity to practice my profession than it is with my current way in Karnassos.<br/>
</i></p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p>
  <i></i>
</p><p><i>To be honest, I'm a little nervous about it. I've always lived in Karnassos and leaving this city for good feels a little scary for me. Shopkeeping is also a great responsibility – will I manage to uphold my amme's legacy and am I skilled enough to keep it? Still, I'm also excited: I will get a new adventure, and what's best, we can see each other more often than before.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I'm moving to Vesuvia in a month – there are some legal aspects to finish yet, and I have also my own arrangements to make, before I can leave. Could you help me with moving in, while we arrive to Vesuvia? Äiti and baba are going to come with me to help with all the things I take from here.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I can't wait to hear from you! Stay safe and send my love to Muriel!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Best wishes,<br/>
Your friend Pixie</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Translations:</p><p>¹ ”The love of my life”<br/>² ”my sunshine”<br/>³ paternal aunt</p><p>- Azar is the stove salamander and Afsoun's familiar</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Friends Will Be Friends</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>This is a headcanon about Hande's childhood friends.<br/>Day 6: Friends - who was their best friend when they were younger? Did they have a friend group? Were their siblings their friends?</p>
<p>CW: a description of an acid attack and its injuries</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>During her childhood Hande was this popular kid with whom everyone wanted to play. Her exotic looks (most of the Karnassians have skin of some shade of brown and either brown or black hair), radiant personality and kindheartedness attracted other children. Hande was a natural leader of a group, but she didn't use it to her advantage – actually she included also these children, who some might call underdogs, to her group. She was radiant person herself, but she wanted to give others the chance to shine, as well. Most of the children called her Akh zedh (Frosty) as a joke: her surname means ”frost” in Hongas and her personality is anything but frosty, so Hande liked the name herself, too, and it stuck with her for all of her childhood.</p>
<p>Although Hande had many friends, her best friend was definitely Azita Torkan, a girl from a neighboring quarter of town. She's a month older than Hande, and they became friends at the age of 5 (I've written about how they met in my fic ”Just a Little Willpower” - a third chapter of this collection). Azita is an extrovert, but not very talkative – except for when she's with the closest of her friends and family. She's also kindhearted, if a little absent-minded, she cries easily (she can burst into tears after seeing a cute animal, for example) and shows her emotions openly. Nowadays she has a bob haircut and the left side of her face is scarred and her left eye clouded because of an acid attack.</p>
<p>Azita was 4 years old, when that acid attack happened. She was an innocent bystander in a wrong place at a wrong time. She was in town with her parents, one of them holding her in their arms. They were walking along a bazaar when  Azita noticed a woman walking the opposite direction. She was fascinated by the woman's beautiful, colourful shawl and shouted the compliment excitedly to the woman. She was delighted by the little girl's words, and started talking with Azita and her parents. Suddenly, a man ran behind a corner and threw something at the woman's face. His aim wasn't that good and some of the substance hits Azita and her parent. Azita's parent realised it must be acid, and tried to turn to protect themselves and Azita, but unfortunately she didn't manage to react in time and acid hit the left side of her face. Her parent's shoulder and arm got hit, too, as well as the actual target's lower face, neck and shoulder. Other people quickly came to their aid, but all of them got quite severe burns and Azita's left eye became blind. Later it turned out, that the woman, who was the target of the attack, had refused to marry the man who threw the acid. </p>
<p>Because of her deformed appearance, some people became afraid of Azita and some even bullied her. After Hande befriended her, some tried to bully even Hande, but well, since she already had skills in magic, those people didn't dare to repeat their mistake again. Hande always stood up for Azita and after they have known each other a few years, also Azita stood up for Hande or any other person who was bullied. She also befriended Hande's little sister, Salma, who also was a good friend of Hande's. Of course they had the siblings' bickerings, but otherwise they were almost always together, and when the duo grew up, they told each other almost anything. Salma was quite a shy child, so being with her big sister felt safe for her. By following Hande's example, she learnt to face her fears and later wasn't horrified or afraid of new people – of course it still took some time for her to warm up, but that's okay, like her sister and parents used to say. As a teenager, Hande even told Salma about her crush for Sargon, although she didn't have the courage to tell it to Azita.</p>
<p>Although Hande played with various assemblies of children, the core set was always the same: Azita, Salma and Sargon. Sargon Hakimi is a nephew of a former mayor. He was considered very handsome even as a child: he has light brown skin, black and curly hair (curly hair is quite rare among Karnassians), Greek nose and chocolate-brown eyes. Sargon is very interested in technology and is skilled with languages. He's intelligent, contemplative and kind, if a little hotheaded. He and Hande met when she was 7 and Sargon was 8 years old, thanks to Helena's work. Sargon's mother always kept her son with him although she was one of the higher-class citizens of Karnassos. She wanted to find a new tailor or seamstress, and was fascinated by Helena's versatile skills and unique patterns. When Helena noticed, that her new customer had her child with her, she asked if Sargon would like to play with her daughters, to which Sargon (and her mother) happily agreed. Later Sargon's mother, khanum Hakimi, became a regular customer of Helena's and Sargon even asked to be taken with her so he could play with his new friends. When the children grew up and were able to play themselves, Sargon joined Hande's friendgroup even during his free time.</p>
<p>After Salma's death Hande changed quite a lot, because she got PTSD and became depressed. Many of her peers became afraid of that change: Hande wasn't that cheerful, self-confident leader who she used to be. Many of them abandoned her, but Azita still stayed by her side. She was the only one (except for her parents) with whom she could speak about Salma and the process of her grieving – after all, Azita was mourning for her, too. Luckily, Hande also got a new friend: a few months before she turned 18, she met this mischievous youngster with golden brown skin, white fluffy hair and violet eyes. After their first meeting at the Masquerade in Vesuvia, they became inseparable.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Magician at Work</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A short headcanon about Hande's career, before she inherited the magic shop in Vesuvia.<br/>Day 7: Occupation - did they work/have a job or trade of any kind? Did they have a mentor figure there?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Hande was 19 years old, she started her own business in Karnassos. She specialised in healing spells and potions, which she brewed in the study where she used to have her school lessons, and sold her products at the marketplace. Both amme Afsoun and Hugo-eno (maternal uncle in Hongas) have taught her making potions, and Hugo has especially trained her with healing, since he's a magical healer himself. They have also taught her about running a business – Hande had  helped both Afsoun and Hugo with their occupations while she was a little younger. </p><p>Hande decided to concentrate on healing, because she's always had this willingness to help others. Salma's death and also Hande's guilt of ”failing” to safe her reinforced her decision. Hugo was very proud of her niece, because she decided to choose the same branch of magic as him. Afsoun has also taught Hande about healing magic, but Hugo knows about Forestian and even shamanic healing charms and spells. Most of those are cast by singing, so in a way music is also part of Hande's magic. Hande's range of healing magic is wider than her amme and eno, because she can combine both of their skills. </p><p>In addition to her magical mentors, Hande also got lot of lessons from her baba and äiti. Sardar taught her especially about networking and getting new clients. Helena in turn took her daughter with her to the marketplace, when she was selling her clothes she had made and intended them to be for working or middle class (because of pricing). Helena and Hande shared a booth – just like Helena used to do in Hjalle with her father who sold non-magical remedies and woodwork he had made himself. When Helena had a custom work tailoring and stayed at home, Hande went to the marketplace by herself. Later, when she got regular customers, she also made some house calls for a few people with chronic illnesses or some kind of mental illness, for example. </p><p>Hande worked as a street vendor for two years: when she was 21 years old, her aunt Afsoun died of Red Plague and left her shop to Hande. Instead of applying to university, she decided to become a shopkeeper. Though, because of her previous experience as a healer, Hande had courage to approach Dr. Devorak and ask to be his medical apprentice five moths later, when the plague situation became worse.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. A Cute Little Rascal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>During Hande's journey to Karnassos to look for her family she finds something she would've never expected.<br/>Day 8: Familiar - what was their first meeting like? What exactly does their familiar do for/with their magic?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Exceptionally this fic is set to future - about half a year after the game's story. Hande didn't have a familiar during her past, so I need to fast forward a little.</p><p>Content warnings: suggestive themes &amp; mention of animal abuse</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I am walking along a bazaar with Julian, hand in hand. My mind is swirling with thoughts: only a few days ago I had found my parents, who had thought for all these years, that all of their children are dead. And if that's not enough, I have also learned, that I had a little sister, Salma, who have died in a horrible accident. Of course that scene was the only memory that I got back – a 14-year-old girl picking a ball of yarn and then crushed under horses' hooves and wheels of a carriage... Now I'm grieving a person who I can't even remember... And Lucio had been there too, and the accident was his fault, if indirectly so... This is too much to handle – luckily Julian is with me, letting me rant to him everything that comes to my mind when we're cuddling on a bed in the guest room my parents have provided to us. It's also strange to see faces which have some shared facial features and manners with me, and also longing in their eyes, but at the same time they are complete strangers to me... I want to remember, but I just can't. </p><p>As if he could read my thoughts, Julian squeezes my hand and then raises it to kiss the back of my palm. I turn to face him and he smiles me encouragingly, ”Darling, I know it must be hard, but please, try to loosen up a little – it doesn't help if you just harbor all this new knowledge in your head. Your my little fighter, and I know you can handle this thing as well – you have defeated the Devil, this is a piece of cake!” Ah, always a smooth-talker, this one... But I have to admit, I love him for it. Still, it's easier said than done to ”loosen up”, with all the things we and I have experienced, ”I appreciate this, really. It's just... You lost your memories, too, but you got them back. And you didn't find out your parents are alive and mourning you, and that your little sister has died and now only memory of her I have is that accident...And of course I can't get rid of Lucio, either...” </p><p>Julian seems pensive now, but I know he understands my train of thought all too well. After all, he lived three years of his life thinking he had killed now ex-Count Lucio, although he didn't do it. We continue walking in silence, until we hear fast-paced music nearby. Julian leads me to see, what's going on: there's a local band playing traditional music. I enjoy the music, but when I glance at Julian, a bad feeling takes control of my mind, for there's a sly grin on Julian's face. <i>Oh no... I know that look...</i> Before I can say anything, Julian grasps my waist and makes me dance with him in front of the band. People around the band start cheering and clapping to the beat of the music which only excites Julian even more. I can't help, but follow his lead while he swirls us around, never missing a beat. After I've recovered my shock, my lips start to twitch upwards. Julian notices that and waggles his eyebrows which makes me burst into laughter – <i>damn this silly dork of mine.</i></p><p>The band speeds up the rhythm of the song even further and we keep swirling and laughing and I don't even know how long it's been anymore. I'm starting to feel dizzy when the song comes to a sudden end. Julian stops us in time and steadies me, when the audience and even the band members start applauding us. With a dramatic flair Julian starts to bow to them and makes me follow in suit. Then he leads me away from the crowd, laughing to his heart's content while I'm trying to catch my breath, chuckling as well. Then, suddenly, Julian sneakily ushers me out of the bazaar to a back alley nearby and I get confused. Julian dusts off my clothes, smiling absentmindedly, ”I don't wish to overwhelm you with my antics, dear. Umm... Did it help, though?” I answer his smile and nod, saying ”Thank you,” before I rise to my toes and kiss him on his nose. My smile turns into a grin when I see him blush like I just kissed him for the first time ever. </p><p>”Oh Hande... Always finding a way to surprise me...” Julian chuckles, out of breath. His gaze intensifies and he leans to whisper to my ear, ”This reminds me, do you want to know what would've happened in that back alley in South End if the guards hadn't come after you had fallen into the reservoir?” Now it's my turn to be surprised. ”Well, what?” I ask – the memory of that time makes my skin crawl, and I don't want to reminisce me or him bleeding. But Julian boxes me up against the wall and he leans closer to close the distance between our faces. I'm still a little confused, until he starts to nuzzle my nose. <i>Oh.</i> My breath catches in my throat and then Julian turns his head so his lips can meet mine. His other hand slithers to cradle the nape of my neck while his lips caress mine. I totally forget we are still in the public and my hands find his hair. I try to close our distance even more when I accidentally tug his hair and he winces a little. I manage to stammer, ”I'm sor--” before I get interrupted by Julian's kiss, now more fervent than the last one. I try to break out of the kiss to tell him this is not the best place, but my brain just turns off when he lifts me up and and carefully pushes me against the wall, and starts to kiss my neck.  </p><p>
  <i>”Hungry...”</i>
</p><p>I get alarmed by a voice and get snapped back to reality. Julian doesn't seem to notice anything, so I hiss, ”Julian, stop! I heard something.” After a moment Julian lets me go, looking confused. ”I didn't hear anything...” he whispers, but I stand my ground, ”I heard someone, I'm sure of it!” I start to look around the alley for any signs of life. There! I see a little creature running from behind a barrel to the shadows of the alley. It was probably a stray dog or a cat, so I want to follow it – I don't think these animals belong to streets. ”Please, Julian, I saw a cat or a dog running over there. I want to help it...” I whisper pleadingly. Julian just smiles and nods and I start to silently approach the place the creature ran, Julian following right behind me. Now I see the creature: it's a black kitten, trying to hide from us. It turns its head towards us and its eyes are emerald green. Its gaze is mesmerizing, even when it tries to puff itself to look bigger and hisses at us.</p><p>I slowly crouch down while Julian silently awws to the kitten. I keep my eye contact with the cat and start talking to it, ”It's okay, little one. I'm not going to hurt you. You poor little thing, why are you alone out here? Are you hungry? I have dried fish if you want some.” I carefully reach my bag and take a few dried fish and put them in front of me. Then I back off a little to give the kitten some space. It's eyeing me cautiously, but then its curiosity and hunger take over and it start to approach us. After sniffing my offerings it wolfs them down very quickly. The kitten licks its lips and meets my gaze again.</p><p><i>”Thank you.”</i> </p><p>I get dumbfounded. I'm sure I heard the kitten say ”thank you” to me. ”Did you... Just talk to me?” I ask in astonishment. Julian gawks at me like I'm a lunatic, but I still look at the kitten. It blinks its eyes and although it doesn't open its mouth, I can hear it answering, <i>”Yes.”</i> Holy... Is this kitten my..? But I haven't have one before! Though, usually stray kittens don't start to trust people this quickly so maybe it sensed I meant no harm. ”Wow... This is... I'm sorry, I've never had a kitten answering to my talking before. Why are you all alone? Where's your mom?” The kitten looks at the ground and its tail is whipping back and forth. <i>”Dead,”</i> it finally says. My heart breaks a little after hearing that and I gulp, ”I'm so sorry... Well, do you have any siblings? I can help them, too.” The kitten now turns to look at me, and it even manages to look sad somehow, <i>”Dead,”</i> the kitten answers again. </p><p>I'm speechless: this little thing is all alone, and it probably has witnessed death of all of its family. I swallow back tears and the image of my own sister crushed on the street creeps back to my mind. I shake my head to get rid of it and concentrate to communicate with the kitten, ”That is horrible... Have anyone else tried to help you before?” The kitten turns its head, still watching me with interest. <i>”Some gave food. Some kicked,”</i> it answers. I should have guessed... Some of the people are so stupid that they think black cats bring bad luck. Well, I'm not going to leave this kitten to live on the streets – I have seen, what it does to animals who are not supposed to live there. ”Please, let me take you. I can get you to an animal healer and well... Because we can talk like this, I think you're my familiar. My name is Hande and I'm a magician.” I offer my hand to the kitten and it comes to sniff it. After a moment it headbutts my palm and starts purring. My heart melts immediately. Julian awws again and turns to look at me. </p><p>”Erm... Did you notice you had this whole conversation in Karnassian?” Julian asks with a mixture of confusion and excitement in his voice. My mouth drops open and I stare at him questioningly, ”I did?” He nods and asks what the kitten had said – luckily Julian understands Karnassian pretty well so I don't need to tell him everything. When I tell him this kitten is an orphan, Julian begins to bemoan at its fate and tries to offer his hand for it. The kitten backs off a little and puffs itself again. I immediately try to calm it, ”It's okay! He's Julian, he's my partner. He's one of the most kindhearted people I know.” The kitten looks dubious, but starts to sniff Julian's hand nevertheless. ”He okay,” the kitten states after a while. I laugh and carefully take the kitten into my arms. ”This little one said you're okay, Julian,” I chuckle and he starts to laugh too. Together we walk away from the alley to seek for an animal healer.</p><p>
  <b>
    <i>A few hours later</i>
  </b>
</p><p>”Isn't she a cute little rascal,” Helena coos at the kitten who has already made herself at home in the house of my parents. Of course she's still a little undernourished, but with the help of the animal healer and some of my own magic the kitten is clean and looks much healthier. Sardar and Julian are no better, all of them adoring the black cat. ”Julian noticed she also triggered my Karnassian. I didn't even realise she talked to me in it so it was bizarre when Julian said that I had a whole conversation in my forgotten mother tongue.” Sardar especially looks at me pleased, and I see a single tear falling from his eye. I haven't yet been able to call him my father, or Helena my mother – it feels too strange since I've only known them for a few days. I keep petting the kitten who purrs loudly because of all the attention she's getting. </p><p>”We need to name you, little one,” I say to her fondly. She looks at me a playful glint in her eyes, but there's also some kind of mysterious wisdom behind it. <i>”Agree,”</i> she purrs. I turn to face Helena, ”Since I communicate with my familiar – it's so strange, I still can't believe I finally have one – in Karnassian, I'd like to name her with Hongas name. Do you have any suggestions?” Helena smiles at me fondly, rises up and takes a little book from a shelf. ”Here,” she says, ”This is a book with Forestian names and their meanings. If you can't understand it, just say and I translate it to you,” I smile and open the book. To my surprise I can read it. I'm almost moved for noticing this – I may have lost my memories, but I haven't forgotten my mother tongues. I keep leafing the book, until one name and its meaning pique my interest. ”Hey, little one! What about this one? Saaga – it means prose stories and histories made in South, and it also means fairytale in Hjallean and originally the name had meant 'a seer',” I chirp to the kitten. It stretches its little body and blinks before answering, <i>”I like.”</i> </p><p>I grin to her and wink, ”Saaga it is, then. Welcome to the family!” I tap on my lap, and Saaga jumps onto it. Without a warning a vision overtakes me: <i>a young girl with brown, curly hair and green eyes cooing to a calico cat at the marketplace. She looks at me, grinning widely, ”Look Gorilla, he likes me!” she exclaims and I start to laugh. ”Who could not like you since you're such a monkey?” I bark at her which makes her laugh as well. I start to pet the cat, too, and he starts to purr contented.</i> After that the scene fades and I just stare at a wall, petting Saaga absentmindedly. ”What is it love? Did something happen?” Julian asks and gently strokes my upper back. ”I... Did Salma like cats?” I ask looking at my parents. They stare at each other looking surprised and then Sardar meets my eyes, ”Yes... Cats were her favourite animals.” Helena turns to me and continues, ”You even knitted her a cat toy as gift when she turned 11 years. Please, follow me, both of you,” she says and looks at Julian. We glance at each other, I let Saaga jump onto the floor and I follow Helena to the upstairs, Julian right behind my heel.</p><p>We follow Helena to a corridor which leads left. She stops at the second door. ”This was Salma's bedroom. We have kept it as it was before she...” Helena's voice dies before she can finish the sentence. I pat her shoulder and hope it comforts her. She sniffs silently and opens the door. The room is full of soft colours: pastel pink and blue, as well as some turquoise. The wall is decorated with painted flowers (probably made by Sardar). In one corner stands a barbat and the bed is neatly made. On the bed there's a white cat toy. Helena steps into the room, carefully takes the cat on the bed and hands it to me. ”You were 13, when you knitted this. You begged me to let you knit in my studio so Salma wouldn't notice,” Helena chuckles to the memory before she continues, ”You wanted to make it fluffy, but I was so busy with my work I didn't have time to help you. Later I noticed you had figured it out yourself: you had carded the yarn so it looked like a cat's fur. I was so proud of you, and Salma adored the gift. It was her favourite toy and she even slept with it, till the end.” </p><p>I take the toy and inspect it. It's quite carefully done, considering I was 13 when I made it. The fur is indeed fluffy. The toy has two pearls as eyes: one green and one blue. I also have embroidered a snout and a mouth and made whiskers from from pieces of yarn. It feels so strange to hold something I've done, but don't remember doing. I can still sense the fondness and joy from it – the toy really has been meaningful, made with love to someone I cared really deeply. A single tear escapes the corner of my eye. I try to sniff quietly, but both Helena and Julian notice and they take me into their arms. Now I'm swallowing back more tears and press the toy against my chest, holding it like a lifeline. Suddenly I feel a pressure on my ankle. I look down and there's Saaga, headbutting my ankles. She turns to face me, <i>”Hande sad?”</i> she asks tentatively. I chuckle, wiping away my tears before I answer, ”Kind of, yes, no. Well... It's more like bittersweetness.” Helena and Julian let me go so I can pick Saaga. I nuzzle her head and whisper,<br/>
”Thank you, for giving me a happy memory of my sister.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Concluding remark:</p><p>- When Saaga and Hande get to know each other better, they learn more about how Saaga can help with Hande's magic<br/>- Saaga can smell diseases, illnesses, injuries or poisonings of people and animals (physical or mental)<br/>- She can locate water underground using her hearing and sense of smell<br/>- Saaga is able to guide Hande in the dark, whether it's natural or magical darkness. She also can help Hande move through realms<br/>- She can banish a parasite or disease from trees<br/>- Like seen in this fic, she is able to sense Hande's moods and feelings and shares her company to her friend especially when she's feeling sad or otherwise miserable<br/>- Sometimes Saaga helps Hande to pick ingredients for her potions</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. 8th of May</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Extracts of Hande's diary and some letters shed some light to Hande's first love, Sargon Hakimi.<br/>Day 9: First loves - before any of the M6 did your OC have any crushes/relationships that stood out to them? What happened to them?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Content warnings: some profanities, mention of blood &amp; death</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <b>
    <i>17th April 828, Vesuvia</i>
  </b>
</p><p>I think I'm going slightly mad... Today amme Afsoun summoned me to the shop after the post was delivered: I received a letter. Since I've only been in Vesuvia for two weeks, I was sure it was from home – not many people know I'm currently here. I don't wish everyone to know each and every move I make, so I appreciate that even Salma has kept her mouth shut. And speaking of the Devil, the letter was from her. Amme didn't want any help with the shop, so I went upstairs immediately, back to ”my” reading haunt (I just love that turquoise armchair...) to read what the Monkey had to say this time. I include the letter below:</p><p>
  <i>15th April 828, Karnassos</i></p><p>
  <i>My dearest Gorilla,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I hope you’re enjoying your time with Amme in Vesuvia. I’m still a little nettled that I got this stupid flu and couldn’t go with you - I miss Vesuvia’s marketplace and Amme. Don’t worry, I’m still happy for you; you get to see the Flower Festival and learn some awesome magic. You must show me, when you get back home!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Luckily, I no longer have a fever, but my throat is still sore and I feel tired all the time. Baba cheers me up by drawing beautiful pictures of animals and flowers - I’ve hanged the drawings on my wall! Äiti is quite busy with her clothing commissions, but in the evenings she comes to play chess with me. Otherwise I’m reading and daydreaming and listening to that music box - thank you for sending it to me! It has brought me a lot of joy!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>By the way, Sargon visited here yesterday. He wanted to see you and was quite disappointed when he heard that you are visiting Amme. I bet my bottom daric he has a crush on you… ;) And don’t claim anything else, I’ve seen earlier, how he looks at you! You’d be a daft for not noticing that! He’ll be one lucky guy if you two started to date. Yeah, yeah, he’s handsome and kind and all… but we both know, which one of you is the awesome one! ;)</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I’m not going to tease you anymore, I just want you to be happy, that’s all! But for now, make the most of your trip in Vesuvia! And please, write me as soon as you can.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Your oh, so darling sister,<br/>
Salma the Monkey</i>
</p><p>Yeah, she still mixes Karnassian and Hongas in one letter, but well, I find it fun – at least it'd be quite difficult for an outsider to read it. Good luck with two different alphabets, hah! But holy shit, I still can't believe that last part: Sargon has visited our home to see ME? And he was DISAPPOINTED, because I wasn't there??? Is Salma messing with me? But why would she – she may be even more mischevious than me, but she isn't mean. Oh, now I regret I told her I had fallen for a CHILDHOOD FRIEND... I'm so stupid... But what if Salma's right? What if Sargon has a crush on me? No, it can't be it... He's handsome, kind and rich... He's practically the most wanted boy of our age – many parents even try to arrange their children to get engaged with him. He's only 15, turns 16 in a couple of months... Argh, Salma, why did you make me confused?!</p><p>To be entirely honest, I still miss her. I've said it before, but I really am also nettled that she wasn't able to come with me – the carriage trip would've not been so boring if she was there keeping me company. Well, at least I got my books... Oh, speaking of books, I hope my package is delivered in time! Tomorrow is baba's birthday and I found a perfect book for him. I still hope he likes it – it's a little sad to be away during his big day, but oh well... Luckily he turns 41, so it's not anything too special... Ugh, I just can't stop thinking about Sargon, damn him! And damn me, now I hope I never get home, I'm going to be so screwed... Luckily I know a spell for invisibility so I can just avoid everyone if needed. Or I can escape to Hjalle, vaari¹ can keep me safe, heh.</p><p>Amme has already fallen asleep. I try to follow suit. Good night!</p><p><i><b>7th May 828, Karnassos</b></i><br/>
</p><p>I'm really going mad! I must be imagining everything and I'll find out that I really am in a mental asylum... So much has happened after I returned back home. Äiti, baba and Salma surprised me on my birthday and brought me breakfast to bed. I also didn't have to attend agha Akhtar's lessons, he even made me a birthday card! I was really surprised he took the time – usually he just brings some sweets (and even that's so kind from him!). But that wasn't all: in the afternoon that day, Sargon came to say hi and he gave me a present! I didn't know he even remembers my birthday – he's a little absent-minded when it comes to birthdays or other important dates. He gave me a drawing set with pencils and a sketchbook with fine paper – it really felt too much... Of course the Monkey teased me THE WHOLE DAY after that so I might have hexed her... Nothing serious! She just couldn't remember where she did put her things for the rest of the day.</p><p>Yesterday wasn't any special, but today Sargon visited AGAIN. I'm a little mad at baba that he let him in... I just... Now I feel like äiti and baba also have figured out something and they have this conspiracy with Salma to try to play matchmakers for me... It feels so awkward... And now I really suspect it's just some kind of a sick joke and Sargon is plotting with them... Sargon asked me especially to go out with him – usually we go with Salma together, since they're also friends. I didn't have the courage to say no so I went. It was fun, actually: we were wondering along the bazaar, feeding stray animals and later Sargon took my to their estate to see his horse. She is beautiful, her name is Zeka – the wind. Their stablemaster even let me to ride with her. It was nice, although I was a little nervous, since I haven't ridden that much. </p><p>Well, when the sun set, Sargon walked me home (or more like offered a carriage ride – it's so strange how rich his family is, having their own carriages). When we were in front of my doorstep, he even opened the door for me! And when I said him goodbye and was going to open the door, he KISSED ME ON THE CHEEK! And he just left, without saying anything more!!! I just ran straight to my room and to my embarrassment I need to admit I screamed on one of my pillows so Salma or my parents wouldn't hear me. I just can't believe it really happened... I love his smile and the way he fiddles his fingers when he's concentrated and... He can't feel the same for me, he just can't! I'm not that special (I can do magic, but that's about it)... Everyone says how Salma is the beautiful one, although she'll just turn 13 in a few days... I'm just a weirdo who happened to inherit the ”exotic” look from my äiti... </p><p>I don't think I'll get much sleep next night. Maybe I try to read or probably brew some calming potion, if I can concentrate enough... My life is a mess...</p><p>
  <i>
    <b>8th May 828, Karnassos</b>
  </i>
</p><p>I can't believe it. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT!!! Me and Sargon... We are a couple now!!! I feel like I'm in a wonderful dream and at any moment I might wake up. Today, when I was at the marketplace to buy new yarns and check if our bookseller had any new additions to their collection, I met Sargon again. My hands started sweating immediately and his face just lit up and he smiled so widely after he noticed me. I thought I must overreact and that's just how a friend would react... Well, he asked me to come to their place, he was trying to find a way to catch the cool air and push the warm air out and it could be used at homes. It was really fascinating, seeing his drawings and miniatures – he understands the physics way better than I do, but I could help him with chemistry. I'm sure he's going to be an engineer when he grows up!</p><p>But yeah, he always kept touching me a little: holding my hand, putting his hand on my back, even stroking my cheek. I thought I would explode! But still, I kept on thinking that I'm just imagining and overanalyzing and that was nothing... We talked and laughed and well, I even met the mayor (he's Sargon's uncle). I was so nervous, I've never met him like this before, only Sargon's parents. He told me he had heard about me and my sister, because Sargon has talked about us a lot during these years. The mayor of Karnassos KNEW ABOUT MY EXISTENCE??? Holy shit... But back to the matter at hand (I just can't help my mind, it keeps racing...): I spent the whole day at Hakimis, I even ate dinner with them.</p><p>Then Sargon again suggested that he'd escort me on my way home. Unlike usual, our carriage trip was spent in silence. It made me a little uneasy – I feared that I had disappointed Sargon somehow and that he was mad at me... Later, about halfway through the trip he suddenly took my hand in his. Then he just said my name and then he KISSED ME. Not on the cheek, but on the LIPS!!! I thought like I was struck by a lightning and luckily I was sitting, for I'm sure my legs would've given out if I was standing... After that we just kept staring each other, until I finally mustered my courage and whispered the words I had wanted to say for a long time: ”I love you.” He answered that he loves me too... The rest of the trip he came to sit next to me and we just hugged each other. I wished that the trip would never end, but eventually it did... Sargon opened the door for me again, but before I could get home, he kissed my hand. I also felt his stare in my back, until I turned around and waved him goodbye. But well, when I finally had floated to my room, I looked out the window and he was still there! He wanted to see I got there safely – what a moron, I was at my home already. xD But yes, I still found it cute.</p><p>He loves me. He really loves me... </p><p>
  <b>
    <i>22nd December 828, Karnassos</i>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <i>My dearest Ray of light,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Words can't describe, how much I miss you right now. Still, I'm happy you get the chance to spend some time with your family from your mother's side. I actually wish we'd also celebrate Midwinter Feast, it sounds so nice. Maybe I should ask mum if we could do that too next year...</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Things here are the same: baba is always working and mama tries to entertain herself with dinner parties and theatre visits. I'm working on my studies and that ”ventilation system”. I hope I get it ready soon, it would be wonderful to try to test it! How's your short story doing? I really loved the previous one, it made me laugh so much! Do you let me read your next one when you get back home?</i>
</p><p>
  <i>By the way, how's your family doing? I hope they are fine and your celebrations are going like planned. Is Salma still up to mischief? Well, I can imagine you'd be her partner of crime so Hjalleans and Forestian should keep their guard up! And let's pretend I'm not interested in your antics, but please, if you make any good jokes during your stay there, you must tell me when you get back!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I'm sorry that I'm not that good at words... You're so talented with them that I get nervous when I need to answer your letters. I can't do them justice and it makes me a little sad. I still keep trying for you, I really want to make you happy by writing back to you. You have made me so happy during these months and I really miss your voice and laughter and clever remarks.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Have a great Midwinter Feast! I send you lots of hugs and kisses! Remember, that I love you more than anything!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Forever yours,<br/>
Sargon</i>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <i>28th December 828, Hjalle</i>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <i>My lovely King²,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Thank you for your last letter! You don't need to worry about your writing – your letters always bring me great joy and I'll cherish them forever! I also miss you greatly, although I'm enjoying my time in Hjalle. It's been snowing for the last few days and the view when I look out of the window is spectacular! I made a drawing about it in my sketchbook – I hope I managed to capture the atmosphere...</i>
</p><p>
  <i>My family is doing fine, thank you for asking! Baba and äiti enjoy the chance to relax, and vaari as well as Paavo-eno entertain me and Salma with playing funny games and of course we've played with our cousins, too. Erkki is 12 and Marjatta is 11, but they still are fun to be with and it's also nice to see our other uncles and aunt and their children. It's a little crowded here since the whole family is here, but in a good way.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Well, my short story is still a work in progress, but I guess I can show you some parts of it when we get back to Karnassos. And hah, I won't admit anything about making mischief! How could you even think of that of us, we are just little angles (heh)? I'm also very happy for you, I'm sure you'll get your invention ready soon! </i>
</p><p>
  <i>I'm sorry about your baba. It must get lonely for you and your mama if he's not home very often... I wish I could do something to help for your situation... What if I make a potion for him that makes him stay at home and you slip it into his drink or something? Well, I don't think that's really very ethical thing to do... Maybe your mama should try to talk with him? And you, as well. I know it can be hard, but maybe he'll take more time for you if he learns that both of you feel lonely...</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Although I've enjoyed my time in Hjalle, I really miss you, too. To be honest, I still get a little confused sometimes, about the fact that you're really with me. It's just like from a fairytale! Well, without the wicked witch part (there are just a few magicians, and they're harmless). But yeah, I really miss your cute eyes, babbling about your inventions and our trips together... Just remember, that we come back in two weeks, so it isn't that long time anymore (although for me, it feels like eternity).</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I need to stop now, Taika asked me to join the dinner. Take care, lots of hugs and kisses! I love you very much!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Forever yours,<br/>
Hande</i>
</p><p>
  <b>
    <i>20th June 829, Karnassos</i>
  </b>
</p><p>
  <i>My love,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I hope the courier delivers this to you soon. I want to warn you: stay away from the Count of Vesuvia. He's dangerous. I won't say anymore until we meet face to face, but you will hear soon, that my uncle has died. That bastard killed him, because my uncle dared to complain that he stole our city's food storages. He's going to claim that my uncle was a demon, and that's why he killed him, but I don't believe it! Well, I guess you'd have known if he was a demon for real, since you're a magician...</i>
</p><p>
  <i>But please, my mama is hysterical and baba is worried as well. They fear that the Count's army is going to occupy Karnassos because of this. We don't know how the Shah reacts to this... If the Count or his soldiers are in your neighbourhood, don't go near them. I don't want to lose you, too... We're staying at home just in case, so the Count can't think we're planning an uprising...</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Please, stay safe, all of you! I love you!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Forever yours,<br/>
Sargon</i>
</p><p>
  <b><i>27th June 829, Karnassos</i></b>
</p><p>Salma is dead... My little sister is dead... I don't want to talk about it...</p><p>
  <b>
    <i>15th November 829, Karnassos</i>
  </b>
</p><p>It's over. My and Sargon's story I mean. I can't believe how he can be so cruel and heartless!!! I met him today at the park. He wanted to make out, but I didn't feel like it and he started to sulk like a little brat... How can I just ignore that we were meeting at the place where me and Salma used to play together for all these years? I didn't sleep well last night, I saw nightmares again... I must've screamed, because baba came into my room and woke me up. He stayed with me until I fell asleep... But yeah, I wanted to talk about my nightmares with Sargon, but he wouldn't listen. He just told me to think of something else. Something else??? He didn't see my sister crushed under the hooves of those BEASTS and he didn't have my sister's blood on his hands AGAIN!!! IT HAUNTS ME EVERY DAY AND I GET SICK!!! </p><p>I tried to ignore it and then suggested if we walk a little. I held his hand which seemed to make him a little happier. We just walked and neither of us talked for a long time, but then Sargon opened his stupid mouth, ”Look, Hande... My love... It's been four months since Salma died. You can't be sad all the time, it's giving me the creeps. Could you give me even  a little smile?” I was shocked. How dared he?! MY SISTER HAS DIED, IT WAS THAT DICKHEAD'S FAULT, ÄITI AND BABA ARE CRYING ALL THE TIME AND I HAVE NIGHTMARES AND GET ANXIETY ATTACKS EVERY FUCKING DAY, AND I SHOULD SMILE A LITTLE BECAUSE HE'S GETTING THE CREEPS??? I yanked my hand away and just stared at him. Then something snapped in my head and I started to shout at him, everything I've been keeping in my chest for all these months. I also called him a spoiled brat who doesn't know anything about real life. I don't regret saying that, he was asking for it...</p><p>Sargon got alarmed and tried to calm me down, but I didn't want him to touch me. I told him I was not his plaything and that since he couldn't even respect my grief, he didn't earn my smile. I dumped him and told him to stay away from me or I would curse him. He looked like he wanted to say something, but then he looked at my face and left with tail between his legs. I just ran home and started crying when I finally got here... Shit, I'm still crying... He betrayed me... I love Sargon and he betrayed me too... I thought that he would stay by my side... Well, I guess he's just like those others, who just ditched me because I didn't play their clown anymore!!! Fucking traitors... At least Azita is still my friend... If she left me, I couldn't take it anymore...</p><p>I feel like shit... I hate myself, because I wasn't good enough for anyone... Not for Salma, not for my so-called ”friends” and now, not for Sargon... Love is just a trap to make you suffer! I was stupid to give my heart to that slimy snob... Well, like agha Akhtar, amme and Hugo have always said, I ALWAYS learn from my mistakes. I will NEVER give my heart to anyone again, mark my words!!!</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Translations:</p><p>¹ grandpa in Hongas<br/>² the name Sargon means ”king” in Karnassian, the inside joke between Hande and Sargon</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Newsh jan! - Hyvää ruokahalua!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A headcanon about cuisine at Hande's childhood home.<br/>Day 10: Cuisine - do they have any sort of relationship with food? What they grew up eating or making for others?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The name of the fic is "Bon appetit" in Karnassian and Hongas.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hande enjoys eating good food, but otherwise she mostly have quite neutral relationship to it. She can cook, but isn't the most enthusiastic doing so, and she doesn't have the patience for foods that take very long to make – unless she has someone to cook with. During her childhood she and Salma used to help their parents with cooking. Both Sardar and Helena are good at cooking, and they were taking turns making the food for their family. Later, when Hande moved to Vesuvia, she cooked quite simple foods, unless she started to feel nostalgic. Sometimes she invited Asra and Muriel to visit and Asra would cook with her.</p><p>Hande's multicultural background was shown also in the kitchen: Gul-Kuura family's dinners were combinations of Karnassian and Hjallean (and Forestian) foods. Potatoes are essential at Hjallean cuisine, but they aren't harvested in Karnassos. Well, when Helena moved to Karnassos with her newlywed husband, she took some potato sprouts with her, and now they have their own little potato field in their backyard. Karnassians eat rice a lot, so it's also served during meals. Bread is also essential at Gul-Kuura household, and they always had both Karnassian breads which are usually made from wheat, and Hjallean breads made from rye and barley. Some of the Karnassian bread is bought from the marketplace, but Helena always baked Hjallean breads herself. </p><p>Karnassian foods include mostly chicken, fish, lamb and goat meat. The dishes are seasoned richly with i.a. saffron, angelica, cumin and turmeric. Also nuts, fruits, vegetables and legumes are used a lot. Examples of the dishes: khofteh (meatballs and legumes), kabab (from chicken or lamb meat) with rice and bread, meat stew with rice and chicken and rice with curry sauce (one of Hande's favourites). Hjallean food is more simple: not that much seasoning (except for salt) and rich in energy. Dishes are mostly served with turnips or potatoes. In addition to chicken and fish, Hjalleans use beef and pork. Dairy products are used even more than in Karnassian cuisine. Examples of the dishes: sautéed reindeer with mashed potatoes (one of Hande's favourites), Forestian hot pot (fantasy version of Karelian hot pot), pea soup, kalakukko (fish and pork baked inside of bread made of rye and wheat flavours) and smoked fish with potatoes. </p><p>Gul-Kuura family ate lunch and dinners together most of the time. Cooking, baking and eating food were social gatherings for them, when you could chat and enjoy spending time together. After moving to Vesuvia Hande found it hard to get used to eat alone, so she tended to invite Asra and Muriel to eat with her or she ate out. Even now, when Hande has lost her memories, she wish to cook or bake or eat food in company.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Descent into Darkness</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A story of the moment when Hande's life turns into a tragedy.<br/>Day 11: Defining moment - what was their coming-of-age moment? A point where everything changed? </p><p>CW: some profanities, gore &amp; execution</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>Part 1: Denial</b>
  </p>
</div>It's a beautiful day today. The sun shines in the cloudless sky and the air is pleasantly warm. I walk with Salma through the marketplace, we promised baba and äiti to buy some groceries. We also got some money to do a few purchases of our own, if we wanted to.<p>”Sal, come on, I can cast a spell to get it back...”</p><p>”Don't worry, Hande, I'll get it!”</p><p>Salma runs to the street after a ball of yarn. The ball is almost in the middle of the street already, but Salma is fast and and is approaching it surely. Finally her hand whisks the ground and the yarn is in her possession. <i>Hah, she really is as swift as a monkey.</i> Salma raises her hand triumphantly; the ball of yarn seems to be shining in sunlight. I smile at her, but my instincts tell me to look at my right.<br/>
There's a carriage which is approaching with great speed. Way too fast... I turn towards Salma and shout, ”SALMA, LOOK OUT!”</p><p>It's too late: Salma is already under the carriage. The driver has fallen to the ground by the force from the sudden halt, but I don't care about her – I must get to Salma. My basket drops out of my hand as I run to the street. Although the horses are still extremely bolted, I throw myself over to protect her with my body. I crouch low as the horses rise to their hind legs. I prepare myself for an impact, but it never comes – someone has surged in front of us to restrain the horses, allowing me to focus entirely on my sister; she's so bloody... She's still conscious, and she turns her gaze to me, ”Ha-an-de...” Her breath gurgles alarmingly. I carefully turn Salma to her side so she could breathe better. I'm stroking her cheek and speaking to her calmingly, ”Not to worry, Sal... We'll fix you, I promise.”</p><p>I raise my gaze from Salma for a moment to check, if I still need to beware of the horses. The man who came to our rescue has managed to calm the beasts. My relief is short-lived, for I notice that the man's left arm is glittering in the sunlight. <i>The golden arm... It's him!</i> A huge weight falls into my stomach: that's the Count of Vesuvia... Baba, äiti and Sargon have warned us to stay away from him – the man killed our mayor, because he dared to complain, when the Count robbed our town's food storages for the needs of his army. I draw Salma against me more tightly, when the man turns around to look at us. His blonde hair is glued to his temples and his icy gray eyes are scrutinising us. The man takes a couple of determined steps towards us and barks, ”Are you alright? Let me see your companion.”</p><p>Panic fills my mind, I definitely don't want that tyrant to touch my sister. I turn my back to hide Salma from him and shout, ”Blesh de-- Don't touch her!” The man stops and stares at me, looking surprised – is it because I had courage to give him orders or because he hears the fear from my voice, who knows... The man crosses his arms and sighs in frustration, ”She seems to be in bad shape. We don't have time, she must see the doctor." I force myself to meet the Count's gaze and answer coldly, ”I heal her myself, thank you very much,” and with that I turn my back to him and focus on Salma. She's still conscious and I keep chattering to her comfortingly when I'm casting healing spells above her. Salma seems to relax, but only her external bruises heal – I feel how her internal injuries still remain like they were before. I sense that the Count is still standing nearby. Now the panic takes control of my mind – why aren't my spells working?</p><p>I turn Salma to her side again. I keep ignoring the Count and I ask my sister in Karnassian, <i>”Sal, can you hear me? Does it hurt?”</i> Salma turns her gaze painstakingly to me and tries to smile, <i>”Doesn't... hurt... anymore...”</i> She can't continue, because she starts to cough and blood is coming from her mouth. I startle when I realise my ways aren't enough to heal Salma. I can also feel exhaustion taking over my body – I've overused my magic. Reluctantly I turn to look at the man who's standing beside me. He stares at me with a grim expression on his face. I don't like it a bit... ”Your spells don't seem to work, huh?” the Count blurts, and it makes me to see red. He's done nothing but commanding and standing there being useless, whilst I at least have tried to help my sister... I stare at the man defiantly. ”She doesn't feel any pain anymore, but she has some internal injuries to which my spells aren't working. I need to get her to the hospital...”</p><p>I try to stand up, but my legs give out – I'm feeling dizzy. The man catches me in time, but his touch is giving me the creeps. ”Deep breaths, okay? You won't do any good for her if you faint,” states the Count. Reluctantly I must admit he's right and I close my eyes and take few deep breaths. He lets me go when he notices I can stand on my own. I turn to Salma to take her, but the man insists that he'd carry her. I don't like the idea, but let him do it – we don't have time to waste. Lucio turns to people who are now gawking at the scene, Salma in his arms, ”You there!” he shouts and points at one man, ”Help the driver. What's your name, girl?” Since the man is finally trying to help, I answer, ”Hande. That girl is my sister...” Then I remember that our parents need to know about this and I scan the audience. There's one of our neighbours among them, too. I ask her to go to tell our parents while I lead the Count to the hospital nearby.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div>I left at the exact moment when the girls' parents rushed into the hospital. I saw how the older one still tried to use her magic to help her sister – the doctors needed to restrain her for a moment, because she was exhausting herself. So foolish... One would think she'd realise to save her strength in a moment like that. I don't know why, but I'm still here, outside of that hospital. Maybe it's gut instinct – I have a feeling, that if the girl dies, there's going to be trouble.<p>Why can't they just let me mind my own business? I did them a favour by killing that whiny mayor. These Karnassians are so ungrateful... Ugh, I still have that girl's blood on my hands... Luckily there's a well nearby. But that blonde girl, what was her name... Han-something? ... She looked like a Southerner, and so did her mother. I didn't think I'd meet Southeners here... But what was with the girl's face when she recognised me? She tried to hide her sister from me – was she afraid of ME? I'm the most loved Count there's ever been in Vesuvia! Well, at least she thanked me when we got to the hospital... Some of those idiots still got manners... Well, I'm sure the other girl will be fine, I've seen worse...</p><p>Should I go back to the hospital? To greet their parents properly? It's been two hours, at least, judging by the sun. Maybe the citizens wouldn't be that pissed with me when they learn that I helped one of them – actually, I SAVED the older girl's life! They really should thank me, that I ran to the scene, or both of them would've been stomped to death! Yes... I'm going to be a hero, and then I can carry on to Nopal – I have some unfinished business there and I'm sure the outcome will be a lot different now that I have more reinforcements... </p><p>I hear a scream from the hospital. I turn to look at that way, and I realise: that's the older girl, and she sounds desperate. That isn't a normal scream – <i>it's the scream of a wounded animal.</i> A huge rock falls into my stomach – the worst has happened. I'm not going to stay to see the aftermath, hell no... I'd better head back to our camp.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <b>Part 2: Anger</b>
  </p>
</div>A week later the driver of the carriage pays a visit to Gul-Kuuras. She had a concussion and her leg is broken, but except for mental scars, she's fine. Hande can't bear to look at her: why she's still there standing when Salma is dead? It was her carriage that crushed her sister... Still, her parents let her in and now they are at the living room, discussing. Sardar asks Hande to join too, and she agrees, if reluctantly.<p>”I'm really sorry for your loss... I hope you know that,” the driver, called Badra, says sounding devastated. Sardar and Helena can do nothing, but nod – all of them feel awkward, encountering a person who they already know, in a situation like this. Badra fiddles her fingers nervously. Her teacup stands on the floor untouched. Hande is about to say something mordant, when Badra finally speaks again, ”The horses... They were scared on purpose...” Helena turns to look at their guest, ”What do you mean, on purpose?” Badra doesn't dare to meet Helena's gaze, but stares at her teacup before she continues, ”I was waiting in front of the city hall, when some soldiers from Vesuvia's army came there, laughing and speaking very loudly – I think they were drunk. I ignored them, but then they approached my horses. I asked them to leave, but one of them just laughed and without a warning he slapped one of my horses and shouted next to its ear which agitated it and its pair... I'm sorry... I tried to control them, but it was no use...” </p><p>Now Badra's eyes are filled with tears. Sardar goes to her and pats on her shoulder, Helena following suit. Hande looks at them dumbfounded – previously she had thought that the accident was caused by carelessness of Badra, but now... It was HIM, that arrogant bastard who had the guts to come and play the hero after all the things he's already done. Hande can't listen to this useless wailing, but heads out of the living room. Her parents let her go, thinking she's going to her room. Hande, on the other hand, isn't going to her room. She tiptoes to the hallway, puts on her shoes and leaves the house. Nowadays she doesn't want to be near of any horses, so she decides to walk.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div>Lucio is napping inside of his tent. Soon the soldiers have rested enough so they can go on to Nopal – probably in a day or two. Satisfied, he's about to fall asleep properly, but then he hears shouting outside. Groaning in frustration, he rises up and gets out of his tent. He's surprised by the sight: all of his soldiers are giving way to a girl. Lucio squints a little and recognises her: it's the girl whose sister died a week ago. And the reason his soldiers are avoiding her, is that she enchants thorns from the ground if someone tries to approach her. She seems furious, which makes the Count feel very uneasy – he has no idea, what's going on.<p>”Count Lucio! Face me, you coward!” Hande shouts. This makes Lucio irritated and he approaches the girl, ”I am NOT a coward, as you can see. What's wrong with you? I helped you and you just stomp into my camp scaring my soldiers!” Hande just stares at him and then spits to the ground, ”Helped? HELPED? Yeah, right, of course it was really FUCKING helpful that that carriage crushed my sister!” Lucio is now completely lost – he can't understand a word this girl is saying. And he doesn't like her attitude – how dares she talk to HIM like that, the Count of Vesuvia? ”If I were you, I'd hold your tongue, girl. Don't you know who you're talking to?”</p><p>Hande's eyes glint with rage and she raises her hand which causes a thorn to emerge next to Lucio. Hande makes it move and it scratches Lucio's cheek, which makes him yelp in surprise and pain, and he backs off a few steps. Before he can say any more, Hande shrieks, ”SAATANAN PERSLÄPI¹, if your stupid army didn't come here my sister would still be alive!” Lucio is holding his cheek, which is bleeding now, and glares at the girl. ”What are you talking about?” he snarls, but still doesn't dare to approach the girl – she seems to be very powerful at magic for her age. Now it's Hande's turn to look a little confused, but she steels her gaze and shouts, ”One of your fucking soldiers scared the horses that stomped my sister to death!”</p><p>Everyone fall silent – too silent. Lucio can't believe his ears. Is this girl blaming his men for killing her sister? Lucio and Hande keep staring each other when suddenly her parents rush to the scene. After they noticed that Hande wasn't in her room, they realised where she must have gone and took a carriage in hopes that the Count of Vesuvia hasn't done anything yet. Sardar reaches his daughter first, protecting her with his own body, ”Keep quiet, Hande, I can't afford to lose you, too,” he hisses quietly to Hande. These words seem to snap Hande out of her rage and to realise that she may have set herself in danger. Then Sardar, who has heard most of his daughter's accusations, turns to face the Count and speaks to him pleadingly, ”Please, milord. I apologise for my daughter's behavior. She's just upset, her sister was also her friend... She saw her die, and now she found out that someone scared the horses on purpose.”</p><p>Lucio stares at the duo flabbergasted, but then Helena also reaches them. Firstly she checks that her daughter is unharmed, saying something to her in a language that Lucio can't understand. Then the woman faces the Count, as well. ”What my husband meant to say,” Helena states coldly, stepping in front of Count Lucio, steely-eyed, ”Ef þú skaðar jafnvel hár á höfði dóttur okkar, þá rífi ég þig í sundur²... <i>Milord.</i>” Although she's shorter than him, the Count takes a step back, looking a little agitated – she knows his mother tongue. This woman also manages to look intimidating, even when she's wearing a colourful dress and her hair is braided and collected to the back of her head as a bun. Lucio doesn't like the idea at all, but this woman reminds him of his own mother. Helena continues, ”Yes, I know what you are and I can speak your language. And now, you'd better do something about the fact, that one of your soldiers caused the death of our lastborn.”</p><p>Lucio shakes his head, before he manages to speak, ”You mean your girl is telling the truth? Are you really claiming that one of my soldiers scared those horses?” Sardar comes to his wife's side and says, ”Yes. We also have a witness, Badra. She is the driver of the carriage that caused the accident.” Like summoned, Badra finally arrives to the scene, limping with her crutches. Lucio keeps staring at the little group. He is still angry that the girl has offended and attacked him, but on the other hand, he's impressed, how brave and powerful magician she is. He also has learned that this family is really liked in their community and he won't risk an uprising. </p><p>Now that he sees that the girl has calmed down a little, he approaches the group. Helena and Sardar step in front of Hande by instinct, but Lucio just laughs, ”I'm not going to harm her! I'm the beloved Count of Vesuvia!” he declares so that everyone can hear him. Then he approaches Hande whose hands are now clenched into fists. She still hasn't broken the eye contact with him. Lucio chuckles – this girl is feisty, isn't budging at all. When he's just inches away from her, he places the forefinger of his metallic hand under Hande's chin and slowly lifts her head upwards. When Hande remains stony-faced, Lucio smirks at her and says unctuously, ”You're a fighter. I can see it in your eyes. It'd be a waste to kill someone like you. Great things await you, if you're just willing to aim high. And if you know when to stay low.” Hande can sense a threat in that last sentence, but she still just stares at the Count. Two can play this game, and she's not going to let this arrogant slimeball scare her, or at least she won't let him see it. </p><p>After a little, awkward silence Lucio lets Hande go and then raises his hands in a grand gesture, ”And since I'm beloved and merciful leader, I'm going to help you to get justice! Gather around!” he barks at his soldiers who obey immediately. Lucio gestures Badra to walk around the soldiers so she could recognise the guilty one. Tentatively Badra starts scanning the rows, and Hande comes to her aid. The atmosphere is very nervous, but Badra and Hande keep wandering, until Badra halts, then whispers something to Hande's ear in Karnassian. The two have a short discussion, until Badra nods. Then Hande points a young man with hazel hair and brown eyes. ”Badra told me it's this one,” Hande states, trying to control her anger.</p><p>The man trembles and then kneels in front of Hande, bursting into tears, ”I'm so sorry! I didn't know someone died! I was drunk, I didn't mean any harm!” He grabs Hande's ankles and look at her pleadingly. This scares Hande and she tries to step away, but the man won't let go. She looks at her parents who try to come for her aid, ”Please, let our daughter go, you're upsetting her,” Helena says surprisingly calmly. Sardar doesn't want to face the man – he fears he might punch him, so he concentrates on Hande, trying to comfort her. Finally Helena manages to persuade the man to let go of Hande, but the man still stays on the ground, trembling uncontrollably. No one knows what to do and everyone keeps staring at the bizarre sight.</p><p>Lucio is finally the one who breaks the silence. He's been observing the scene, which makes him irritated. One of his soldiers, crying like a baby in front of everyone. Then again, he has admitted he really was guilty so there wasn't anything more to do for it. ”Execute him,” he orders lazily. Hande, Helena, Sardar and Badra turn to face Lucio, all of them looking shocked. ”Just wait a minute. We didn't mean--” Sardar starts, but Lucio raises his hand, silencing him. ”He's my soldier, he's committed a crime and he pays the price. Get the block!” Some soldiers grab the accused who becomes hysterical now, ”Wait, milord, please! I didn't mean it! Please, show mercy!” Lucio just ignores the man while the other soldiers rush to fulfill their commander's orders – they don't want to get punished, too. </p><p>Hande and her companions witness the scene horrified, unable to move or say anything. The accused man keeps screaming when he's placed on the block and one of the soldiers fetches an axe. The accused wriggles frantically, but the others don't let him escape. ”PLEASE, MILORD! I have a wife and child! Please, don't do this!” the man pleads, but Lucio just turns a deaf ear, inspecting his nails absentmindedly. ”C'mon, just get it over with!” he barks and the soldier with the axe takes his position. Sardar takes Hande into his arms and whispers, ”Neguah neken, afetab men,³” and covers her eyes. Helena also hugs her daughter and covers her eyes. None of them want to see the execution and they close their eyes, waiting tensed up. The man still keeps crying and pleading, when they hear the airflow caused by the axe. Then a smack and then... Silence. </p><p>It takes some time before Helena, Sardar or Badra dare to open their eyes. When they're sure that the soldiers have taken the body away, they let go of Hande who blinks her eyes, trembling slightly. The block and the ground in front of them is covered in blood. Lucio just yawns, goes to his tent and comes out in a moment, tossing a small leather bag at the family. Hande catches it instinctively – it feels heavy. With trembling fingers she opens the bag and shows its contents to her parents: there are lots of golden coins in there. ”A compensation for your loss,” Lucio blurts while the family is staring at him, trying their best to hide their loathing. The Count doesn't notice that, but thinks the things have gone well. Then he turns to his soldiers and barks, ”Everyone, start packing! We're leaving tonight!”</p><p>
  <b>
    <i>To be continued...</i>
  </b>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Translations:</p><p>¹ Fucking arsehole<br/>²”If you harm even a hair on our daughter's head, I'll tear you to pieces.”<br/>³ ”Don't look, my sunshine.”</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Being Together</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A headcanon about holidays Hande used to celebrate.<br/>Day 12: Holidays - did they celebrate any special holidays/events? What was their favorite?</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hande's family isn't religious, but to them the holidays they are celebrating are about convention with loved ones. They also don't celebrate many of the Karnassian holidays, except for the <b>Celebration of New Spring</b>. It starts at the day of vernal equinox and the festivities last 13 days. People prepare to the event well in advance and in the Eve of the first day of New Spring, people light firecrackers and at the sunset, they set and light bonfires. It's a custom that people jump over these bonfires as a purification ritual. Before the beginning of vernal equinox Sardar and Helena prepare a meal, which is going to be eaten with the family the New Spring begins. During the meal people also give presents to each other. During the festivities people go to visit their neighbours, relatives and loved ones and also go to picnics to celebrate the nature. There are music and dance performers on the streets – usually Hande with her family would also join: Hande playing violin, Sardar playing barbat with Salma and Helena dancing or singing.</p>
<p>Rest of the holidays that Gul-Kuura family celebrates are Hjallean ones. The one they celebrate every year is the Midwinter Feast. The opposite to the Celebration of New Spring, <b>Midwinter Feast</b> - Hande's favourite holiday - is set in winter solstice. Gul-Kuura family traveled to Hjalle to celebrate it with Hande's grandfather and all of Helena's siblings (with their families), who also traveled there to meet the others. The whole family eats together different foods and drink glogg. They sing and play games together and of course go to sauna. The bravest ones might jump into the snow and then run back to the sauna (Hande and Salma definitely did that). Then, during January 13th, when Midwinter Feast ends, some men dress as goats – they are called Nuuttipukki in Hongas, and no, it has nothing to do with Lucio. Nuuttipukki comes to your house and asks for leftovers and alcohol beverages. He might try to scare children, but he also brings gifts, if you have been nice. </p>
<p>Gul-Kuura family doesn't celebrate Hjallean <b>Shrovetide</b>, which is set at the later February, but if they're visiting Hjalle, they are going to toboggan slides and use sleds to slide down the hills when there's enough snow. Eating pea soup and smelas (buns with whipped cream and either jam or almond paste between them) are also traditions of Shrovetide and even if Hande with her family was in Karnassos, Helena used to make pea soup and smelas to eat. Sometimes they also celebrate <b>Midsummer Festival</b>, but usually just spending time together or if they're in Hjalle, they might go swimming in the lake. </p>
<p>The most important thing for Hande about all these celebrations is the opportunity to spend time with her loved ones – whether it means family, relatives, friends or all of them. Even in Vesuvia Hande tried to celebrate some of those festivities with Asra and Muriel.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. When the Sun Goes Out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hande might have felt she was invisible, but after her death many people will realise she left a mark in their hearts.<br/>Day 13: Aftermath - what happened with everyone/everything they left behind from the time they died up until they were brought back? Did anyone know they were gone besides Asra?</p><p>CW: mention of blood &amp; hallucinations</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <i>Hande is sitting at her writing desk. She can feel the nausea creeping in and her red eyes keep staring at the piece of parchment in front of her. How to tell a person that you're dying, especially when he's probably going to blame himself for it? It doesn't help, that the person has become so close, so dear to her... She doesn't want to hurt him, but it'd hurt more if she didn't inform him. Trying not to cough blood on the paper, she carefully writes, corrects and writes again. Finally, she's satisfied and transcribes the final version. But then, how to end the letter?<br/>
”Remember not to give up” – no, too demanding...<br/>
”I will never forget you” – ugh, too cheesy and depressing...<br/>
Hande becomes frustrated – she doesn't have much time and there's still so much to do. Without thinking, she writes a sentence she had kept close to her chest for months: ”I love you.”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Hande stares at the sentence. What is she thinking? She can't just blurt that out to her teacher! Especially not in a letter where she confesses, that she's going to die! Way to go, Hande: you failed at your promise not to give your heart to anyone and now you're going to die, how great... And why should she embarrass Julian, he surely isn't feeling the same – why would he? Hande rises from her chair, takes the letter and goes to the kitchenette. She opens the stove and puts the letter in it. ”Azar, I need you to burn it,” she whispers. The stove salamander does as told and flames start eating the parchment. Hande watches it burn and then returns to her desk. She starts over again, now knowing a proper ending for her letter...</i>
</p><p>Julian is standing in front of his office desk, reading a letter with a familiar handwriting. His hands are trembling slightly, but he doesn't seem to realise it.</p><p>
  <i>-- It's been an honour to get to know you; I will warmly recall your kindheartedness, your fascinating stories and your harebrained jokes.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Thank you for everything and be well!</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Yours truly,<br/>
Hande</i>
</p><p>No. <i>No.</i> Not Hande... Julian reads the letter again, but it's not dated – so unusual for Hande. Well, if she thinks he's going to leave her just die alone at the Lazaret, she's wrong. Julian grasps his coat and mask and heads to the docks. Since he's a doctor, he doesn't need to persuade an oarsman to take him with the patients to the Lazaret. Without hesitation he strides inside the main building and notices a nurse serving as an attendant. ”Good afternoon. How can I help you?” greets the nurse. Julian gulps and approaches them, trying to sound like a person with authority, ”Good afternoon. May I inquire about one of your patients, Hande Kuura? I'd like to see her, if you will?” The nurse then opens a big journal and starts to leaf through it.<i> Well, at least they keep records of their patients...</i> Julian thinks. After a while the nurse's finger stop at a certain point of a page and she stares it for a moment. Julian doesn't like the fact he's not able to read the nurse's face because of the mask they're wearing. </p><p>Suddenly the nurse breaks the silence, ”I'm sorry... I triple-checked it, but there isn't but one Hande Kuura in our records. She has died, almost a month ago. The exact date is 18th of January.” Julian freezes to his place, speechless.  No, no, no... This isn't real, this is just a bad dream and he will soon wake up. He actually pinches himself, but he feels the pain... <i>Shit...</i> ”Oh... uhm... Okay. Well... I must get going, thank you for informing me,” and with that he turns on his heels and leaves the building. He takes the first boat that goes back to Vesuvia and then wanders to the Palace like a zombie. The doctor doesn't see, hear or feel anything. Suddenly he notices he's in a library, at his desk. He sits down, takes of his mask and starts to fiddle his fingers, staring at the wood and papers laying around on it. </p><p>”Doctor Devorak? Are you alright?” a silky voice asks. Julian startles and raises his gaze. ”C-countess Nadia! I didn't notice you are here!” he exclaims and stands up hastily. Countess Nadia watches him with worried expression on her face, ”Please, you don't need to stand up for me.” Julian tumbles back to his seat and starts to tremble slightly. Nadia repeats her question about Julian's well-being, to which he just waves, ”I'm fine, really. I'm having the time of my life...” He sounds way too cheerful – almost hysterical – and Countess Nadia notices it. ”Please, doctor... I can see you are not fine. I know we haven't talked a lot, but unlike my husband, I hope you find me trustworthy. I have seen, how hard you're working to find a cure for this disease.” Julian's trembling gets worse and he clenches his hands into fists. He doesn't dare to meet the Countess' gaze, but mumbles, ”She... Hande... My apprentice... She... She's dead...” Julian sniffs and without a warning tears start to flow along his cheeks. ”My... Hande is dead, she's dead... My gods, SHE'S DEAD!” Now he covers his face with his hands and the only word his outburst could be described, is bawling. </p><p>The Countess remembers Hande. Wasn't she the daughter of that architect who designed her bedroom and contemplation tower? Her parents clearly loved her very much, and it seemed she was their only child. Nadia covers her mouth with her hand – she really feels sorry for Hande, her parents and the doctor here. He clearly cared about her, too. Nadia isn't sure what to do – she doesn't know Julian very well – so she puts her other hand on his shoulder and pats it comfortingly. ”I'm so sorry... She really was a remarkable young woman...” Nadia whispers. Julian just keeps trembling and crying, unable to stop. <i>Hande is dead, and it's your fault. She died alone in that horrible place and you didn't even bother to check on her sooner! The woman you claimed to love is dead, and you kept it all to yourself! She died abandoned, thinking no one cared for her, although she meant the whole world to you! Much of a catch you are, ditching the people you claim to care for... Why are you alive, while she died, although it should be the other way round? You pathetic coward, you didn't deserve her and now she's dead because of you! My darling, dear Hande... I'm so sorry...</i></p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>Days are still quite cold in Karnassos, but little by little the weather is warming up. Both Sardar and Helena have taken a day off and try to relax. There hasn't been any letters from Vesuvia for a few months, but Sardar and Helena have assumed, that their daughter is so busy with apprenticing that she hasn't any time to write. Knock on the door, it must be the post. Maybe this time there will be a letter from Hande. Sardar goes to open, thanks the mailman and goes back to the living room. Just a couple of letters from work and then probably some commission for Helena... Oh. And a letter in a handwriting he doesn't recognise. He sits on a pillow, opens the letter and starts to read.</p><p>
  <i>15th February 836, Vesuvia</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Dear Mrs. Kuura &amp; Mr. Gul,</i>
</p><p>
  <i>It is my deepest sorrow to inform you, that your daughter, Hande Kuura, has passed away on 18th of January 836. She came down with the Red Plague without anyone knowing, and traveled to the Lazaret, Vesuvia's quarantine island for the sick, by herself. Her body was cremated and buried on the island.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>My deepest condolences to you. I can only imagine how great your suffering is, and I must admit, I hoped I didn't need to contact you to give you bad news – Hande always spoke so highly of you. I was her teacher at medicine, and I'm devastated to lose such a radiant person.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>The reason I write to you this late, is that I only found about her passing yesterday. I was asked to go working to the Palace a few months ago, and then Hande took care of my clinic near the South End. I'm ashamed to admit, that I was so busy with my work, I didn't have time to check on her, and when I finally was able, it was too late. I'm so sorry for not taking good enough care of your daughter, my apprentice – that is one of my greatest regrets.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>During her time as my apprentice, Hande was hardworking and compassionate – my patients grew very fond of her, and she proved to be a magnificent colleague. Over time she also became a good friend of mine. I know this isn't going to replace your loss, but your daughter fought bravely to help the others until the end. I'll send her belongings to you later – I hope they'll bring you even a bit of comfort.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I promise I'm doing my best to find a cure for this disease and to prevent it spreading outside of Vesuvia. I'm so sorry I couldn't save your daughter.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Yours respectfully,<br/>
Dr. Julian Devorak</i>
</p><p> </p><p>Sardar just stares at the letter. Hande, her brave firstborn... Gone? His hands start to tremble and tears to flow down his cheeks. ”Na¹... NA!” he cries desperately. What has he done wrong to lose his children, both of his darling little girls? ”Darling, what's wrong?” Helena asks and comes to the living room to see her husband in tears. Sardar can't answer, but raises his hand a little to show the letter. A bad feeling takes over Helena's body. Hesitantly she takes the letter and reads. The letter drops from her hands. At first she just stares at the floor where the letter lies, but then she walks to her studio and closes the door behind her. </p><p>Helena leans on the door, trying to process what she just had read. Hande. Dead. All of her children gone, because of that cursed city and its incompetent leader... She had somehow managed to keep herself together, when Salma died, but now they're both dead and that's just more than Helena can bear. She slides down the door until she slumps onto the floor. She starts rocking herself and grabs her hair with her hands, almost tugging. Helena feels like she's a 6-year-old girl again, when his father had to tell her and her siblings that her mother is never going to wake up again. Helplessness... Tears start to flow down and she can't stop them. A howl escapes from her mouth and when the heaviness inside her starts to feel overwhelming, she shouts, ”PERKELE²!!!” Tugging her hair and cursing she bawls, only her clothes as her company. </p><p>After a while Helena hears a knock on the door. ”My love? Please, can I come in?” Sardar asks, sounding unsure. He has heard Helena's outburst and has never experienced her acting like that. It breaks his heart, and he doesn't want her to grieve alone. After a moment he hears Helena move and then the door opens. Helena looks horrible, but Sardar surely isn't any better with his swollen eyes. Carefully Sardar steps in, looking at his wife. Helena looks back, and they both can sense the desperation from one another. Sardar manages to give Helena a lopsided smile and opens his arms to her. Slowly Helena goes to her husband and hugs him back. They both start to cry again and slide onto the floor. ”Let it come out, my love,” Sardar sniffs, ”The world is testing us, but we'll survive this, together...”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><b>
  <br/>
  <i>2 weeks later</i>
  <br/>
</b><p>The home of Sardar Gul and Helena Kuura is filled with people, but instead of happy chattering, the atmosphere is quite grim. Everyone wears black and talk very quietly. Since Sardar and Helena didn't have a body to bury, they decided to organise a memorial service so that everyone who knew Hande could have an opportunity to bid her farewell. The couple had answered to Julian's letter and sincerely thanked him for informing them and for his kind words. They had also invited him to the memorial service, but unfortunately Julian couldn't attend – his work kept him extremely busy and the whole Vesuvia was closed, so no one could leave the city. Still, he sent Hande's parents a bouquet of sunflowers, Hande's favourites. When they opened the package, the sight of the flowers made Sardar cry from affection, and now the flowers are displayed next to a painting of Hande Sardar had made himself. </p><p>Many of their neighbours, Hande's former teacher, Azita and Helena's whole family has come to the event. All of them were shocked to learn Hande had died trying to save the plague-ridden city. Even Sargon asked if he can attend and Hande's parents agreed – although Sargon and Hande hadn't talked to each others in years, Sargon still had been Hande's friend before their break-up. Sardar and Helena are serving halva, Forestian pasties³, gravlax and sandwich cake. People are taking turns, sharing some memories of Hande – especially Azita's speech is very moving. The ceremony is very beautiful and respectful, but still, all who have been close to Hande, are wondering the same thing: how can they carry on without Hande, now that soon they will all have time to concentrate on their grief, and nothing else?</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>It is so strange. With her gone. She was like a sun, warming and radiating to even darkest of places. And still she just wilted away... Just like the others... Bleeding and hallucinating... And I saw it. She didn't even recognise me. It never happened before. She recognised me even after all those years... She was always so kind to me. Not afraid of me even as kid. Don't know why. She healed my wounds and gave me food, although I was a scary gladiator. After she became friends with Asra... Still, she didn't shut me out. And I still was jealous... I was so stupid... Even when Asra left, she took time to visit me. Even when she was exhausted, she came and brought food... I didn't deserve it... I had to dig her grave... See how her remains were just dumped there... It felt so wrong. She deserved better. I think I miss her, but I can't show it... Must stay strong. I can't inform Asra, I don't know where he is. His heart will break when he finds out...</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>
  <b>
    <i>March 836</i>
  </b>
</p><p>”Thank you, my friend,” Asra smiles to the Beast and gives it water chestnuts. He's in the field and the familiar silhouette of Vesuvia looms in the distance. Home. Asra's been gone for over a year, but now he's ready to return. Return to Hande. Hopefully she's forgiven him... He needs to visit the shop first – Muriel can wait a little longer. He takes a deep breath of the fresh air and starts to walk to the town determination in his steps. <i>I'm sorry I ran away, Hande. Don't worry, I won't make that mistake again.</i></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Translations &amp; notes:</p><p>¹ ”No”<br/>² A curse word in Hongas, usually translated as ”damn it”<br/>³ a fantasy version of Karelian pasty</p><p>If you want to read Azita's speech, you can find it here: https://poetic-emptiness-fanfic.tumblr.com/post/626360911883567104/codex-prompt-2-6</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Two Sisters</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>What if Salma Kuura didn't die?<br/>Day 14: In Another Life - what would have happened if they never went to Vesuvia? If they didn’t die from the plague, or if they had left when Asra asked them to? Who would they be?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Exceptionally this fic is going to set in alternative future of Hande's.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's very hot in here, but I like it – I've always enjoyed summer, even the hotter days. And it isn't even that bad inside, since we have a ventilation machine nowadays. Who would've thought we'll buy something Sargon has invented? Gorilla would find it hilarious, at least I think so... I wish I could still speak to her, or at least that she'd had a grave so I could visit her... Well, doesn't help to ruminate such things. Perhaps I should look on my suit designs, if they need some improving.</p><p>Knock on the door. We aren't expecting any guests, so I'm a little confused – usually people won't pay visits at this hour during this time of year. I become very curious and want to be the first to see our guest. ”I'll get it!” I shout to äiti and baba and run downstairs. When I open the door, there's a man I've never seen before. He's tall, gangly, has very pale skin and auburn hair, and his other eye is covered with an eyepatch. Actually, he looks like a pirate, although his clothes clearly aren't for pirating. I get a little nervous – I'm not afraid of people anymore, but I still feel a little unsure when I'm meeting new people. </p><p>We keep looking at each other for a moment – he looks a little surprised after seeing me. How curious, we haven't met each other before... I would remember. ”Good afternoon. May I help you?” I ask politely. The man seems to snap out of some kind of trance and answers, ”Erm, yes, good afternoon! Is this the house of Sardar Gul and Helena Kuura?” Now it's my turn to look surprised – I hope this isn't anything bad. Though, to be fair, I don't see any ill intent. ”Yes, this is. Excuse me, who are you?” I answer a little reserved. The man smiles at me and bows a little – hah, this is a dramatic one, and quite handsome, may I add. ”I'm Julian Devorak. I come from Vesuvia. And who you might be?” </p><p>Julian Devorak... Why does that name feel so familiar? I'm sure I've heard it somewhere... I don't have time to think about that, but I answer to the guest, ”My name is Salma Kuura. I'm the daughter of Sardar and Helena.” Mr. Devorak mumbles something to himself, and I can't make any of it – he sounds a little nervous. Was he planning something and now I proved to be something he didn't expect? Finally he speaks to me again, ”Well... Erm... I'm sorry. Are your parents home?” I nod and ask why is he asking about that. Mr. Devorak moves his feet a little and then he says, ”It's about Hande Kuura.” I feel dumbfounded. It hurts me to speak, but I have no choice, ”Oh... I'm sorry, didn't you know? She died, four years ago.” Mr. Devorak starts to fiddle his gloved fingers – why on Earth is he wearing gloves in this weather? I need to fight back my tears, it's still hard to say that my sister is dead. </p><p>Finally Mr. Devorak speaks, ”Yes, I knew it. But, erm, about that...” he sighs, not sure how to continue, ”Well, maybe it's best if I just show you... I just need to warn you, she doesn't remember you. Darling, you can come now.” What is he talking about? I don't undertstand at all... Who doesn't remember me? My brain freezes when another person steps out. Just barely taller than me, blond hair, blue eyes, resting bitch face... Oh no... It can't be... ”... Hande?” She's really standing there, in front of me. My big sister, died from the Red Plague while trying to save everyone else, without a chance to say goodbye... She's alive? She's alive! ”HANDE! Oh my goodness, you're alive! Äiti! Baba! Come here!” I shout and then jump to hug her. Hande tenses at my touch. I let her go to see her better. ”Hande? Don't you know me? It's me, Salma, the Monkey... Your sister.” Hande just watches me curiously. Oh, Mr. Devorak said she doesn't remember me. But why? </p><p>Finally äiti and baba come to the door. Baba exclaims surprised and his legs almost give out. Äiti just stares at the sight. Then they both run to Hande and take her into their arms. Hande tenses again, but watches me intensely. She looks like she tries to recognise or remember something. She also looks confused which feels so strange. How could she forget her own family? Why is she here when we were told she's dead? Mr. Devorak tries to calm down our parents and places his and on Hande's shoulder protectively. I meet Hande's gaze and I smile her a little. My heart jumps when she answers the smile.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div><p>The quintet is sitting on the pillows in the living room, teacups in front of them. Julian sits next to Hande and holds her hand while she tells her family how she's now standing there and what has happened before they came to Karnassos. Salma has always found it fascinating that her sister is a magician, but she would have never imagined, that being a magician could lead someone to mysterious rituals or fighting the Devil. And Hande has been even a detective, although she ended up together with the murder suspect who is a doctor – THAT is hilarious. Well, to be honest, Salma is a little disappointed that Count Lucio is still alive somewhere – or ex-Count.</p><p>”So... It was Asra who brought you back to life?” Salma asks cautiously. Hande nods, ”Yes. Do you know him?” Salma looks at their parents who nod – Salma can tell this bit. ”Yes, we all know him. You were 17, when were visiting amme Afsoun in Vesuvia and well, baba had worked at the Palace previously. So... Count Lucio invited him to the Masquerade, and  we all went too. Asra sold our masks, he had made them himself. Then, we didn't want to, but Count Lucio came talking with us and introduced us to his fiancée, Princess Nadia of Prakra. But then, that idiot asked you to dance with him, and you didn't dare to refuse. And by the look of your face he tried to hit on you...” ”Salma!” Helena shouts scoldingly. Hande grimaces and Julian also looks a little disgusted. Despite her mother's interruption, Salma continues, ”Well, maybe he didn't realise you were underage... But oh well, then he tried to ask you for another dance, but behold! A knight in a shining armor came to your rescue – Asra.” </p><p>Hande feels stupefied because of all that information. ”But... How did Sar-- baba end up working to Lucio? Karnassos is quite far from Vesuvia, and he had his own architectures, as far as I know.” Now Helena starts to talk, ”Well, he was here, he stopped to Karnassos with his army 11 years ago. It was quite chaotic and there were way too many close calls.” Salma stands up and says she's going to fetch something from upstairs. Quite soon she returns with a ball of yarn in her hands. It's purple and looks quite old. ”It started with this,” Salma says and hands the ball to her sister. Hande takes it, but she doesn't have time to inspect it further, because a strange feeling takes control of her body and she sees just white...</p><p>
  <i>”Sal, come on, I can cast a spell to get it back...”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>”Don't worry, Hande, I'll get it!”</i>
</p><p>
  <i>Salma runs to the street after a ball of yarn. The ball is almost in the middle of the street already, but Salma is fast and and is approaching it surely. Finally her hand whisks the ground and the yarn is in her possession. Hah, she really is as swift as a monkey. Salma raises her hand triumphantly; the ball of yarn seems to be shining in sunlight. I smile at her, but then I hear something... Like a carriage, and someone shouting. ”GET OUT OF THE WAY! I CAN'T CONTROL THEM!” someone shouts. Then I see the carriage coming way too fast towards us. I drop my basket and run to Salma. ”SALMA, LOOK OUT!” I manage to shriek before I push her out of the way, but then I feel a sudden pain and my mind goes blank.</i>
</p><p>
  <i>I wake up. I'm laying on the street and the carriage is still there, horses extremely bolted. I turn to search for Salma, who is sitting not far away from me. ”Sal, are you alright?” I ask worried. Salma is holding her head, but answers, ”Yeah... I just got some bruises and I may have a concussion, but otherwise I'm fine... Hande, look out!” Salma bolts to me and tries to drag me when horses rise to their hind legs. I cry out in pain and see my leg: it's in a position it's not supposed to be. I startle and begin to feel sick, but I swallow and try not to cry out again. ”My leg is broken...” I hiss between my teeth. Salma hugs me and tries to calm me, but I think I'm in shock – I only feel the pain, nothing else. Then suddenly Salma startles and shouts, ”Don't you dare touch my sister!” I turn to look to whom Salma is shouting: someone had surged in front of us to restrain the horses without me noticing. Now he has turned to us and tries to approach. Oh no... The golden arm... It's the Count of Vesuvia!</i>
</p><p>Hande returns back to reality. Julian is holding her in his arms and her sister and parents are looking at her worried expressions on their faces. ”My darling, are you alright? What was that?” Julian asks while he's checking Hande for any injuries. ”Yes, I'm fine... I just saw a memory... You almost died...” she says, turning her gaze to Salma. ”You saw it?” Salma asks, both dumbfounded and impressed. Hande nods and tells how much she saw. ”Yeah... Well, he had killed our mayor previously, so everyone avoided him. But he insisted helping you and I wasn't able to carry you, so... He carried you to the hospital. But later we found out it was his soldier who had frightened the horses and you just limped to their camp with your crutches and gave him the piece of your mind,” Salma chuckles at the memory – the Count was pretty pissed when a 16-year-old dared to speak to him like that. </p><p>Suddenly Salma realises something, ”Wait a minute... Julian Devorak... Hey! Were you the doctor teaching Hande when she began her apprenticeship in Vesuvia?” Julian affirms, surprised that Salma can remember his name – he didn't remember Hande has a sister as well, only her parents. Salma barks a laughter and turns to Hande, ”Ha! How funny – you always just were friends with someone and then they, or you, or both fell in love! First Sargon, then Asra...” Hande freezes, ”Wait... Asra?” Now Salma remembers that Hande really doesn't have any memories from her past and she slipped pretty badly. Their parents watch her a little scoldingly, as if to say, that a 25-year-old should know when to speak and when to stay quiet. Oh well, now the cat was out of the bag, so it didn't help to brush it off anymore.</p><p>”I'm sorry, Hande... I didn't mean to confuse you...” Hande smiles to her sister woefully, but starts to fiddle her fingers, ”I didn't know... Do you mean... Me and Asra were a couple? He hasn't said anything...” Well, to Salma it seems Asra only keeps secrets, at least nowadays – he didn't even bother to inform them that Hande is alive, and just let them mourn her for all these years. After a pause, Salma answers, ”Yes... You first became very good friends, while you were with Sargon – he's the former mayor's nephew. Later he got jealous of how good friends you were with Asra, although it really was just a friendship. Well, you didn't tolerate that and dumped him. But then, a year after that, you went together with Asra... You were together for two years, until that argument... Has he told you about the time you decided to stay in Vesuvia despite of the plague situation?” Hande nods, Asra had told her about the argument, but not the fact they were a couple and that argument also ended their relationship. It all feels so overwhelming to her.</p><p>Julian laughs nervously and then tries to break the ice, ”Well, look at that. Two of his exes ended up together!” Hande wasn't expecting that comment, and can't help but burst into laughter. Salma is laughing as well, while Helena and Sardar chuckle a little. Then Salma rises from her pillow and goes to Hande, taking her into her arms, ”I can only imagine, how hard it is for you to take this all in. But we all really missed you so much, so I'm just very happy, that you really are here, flesh and blood, breathing. Even if I want to give a piece of my mind to Asra, I'm still grateful. He brought you back and it is the best gift I could ever get.” Hande hugs Salma back and then their parents and Julian also join the hug. Everything feels so strange, but all of them have a feeling, that everything's going to be okay.</p>
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<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Livin' La Vida Loca</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>A story where the doctor takes his apprentice to the bar.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It has been a long day at the clinic – lots of patients and lots of research. Julian is tired and he can see that his apprentice is as well. She tries to put on a brave face, but he can see that she's very tense – has she had any chance to relax? They have been working together for five months, but Julian has only seen Hande at work. He has learned that Hande is extremely conscientious, fast learner and she really cares for the patients. He has also found out, that like him, Hande loves reading and it is fun to discuss about different books during their lunch breaks. Julian has grown to like her, and even see her as his friend – the busy days feel less tiring with her around.</p><p>After locking the door behind the last patient, Julian turns to Hande and smiles at her, ”Well, that was a busy one. Great work – I can't even realise how I did manage before you tagged along!” Hande chuckles to Julian's praises and shrugs, ”Thanks, but it's not just me – you really are a spectacular doctor, believe it or not.” Julian blushes by the compliment, but Hande is too polite to point it out. She just pats her teacher's hardel and goes to change to her everyday clothes. While Julian is in the other room changing himself he ponders if he should ask Hande out. They are practically colleagues and they're also friends, so it wouldn't be inappropriate. He also has a feeling that Hande is quite lonely, with her family and friends in Karnassos.</p><p>”Hey, Hande?” Julian shouts to his apprentice so she could hear her, ”Would you mind if I took you somewhere? Erm, to let our hair down, so to speak?” The doctor hears only silence for a moment, before Hande's voice echoes from another room, ”No, I wouldn't mind, that sounds nice.” Julian lets out a relieved sigh and his lips twitch into a small smile, ”Great! I can offer you something to eat as a thank you, if you wish?” He hears Hande coming back to the office while she hums in affirmative. After Julian's done, he goes to the office and sees Hande opening her hair which is tied into a French twist. Her hair is pretty long, he notes, settling to the level of her waist. <i>Stop gawking! That's inappropriate!</i> </p><p>Hande turns to look at Julian, looking a little embarrassed, ”I don't want to keep the same hairstyle during my free time, otherwise I'd never let go of the work stuff. It probably sounds silly...” Julian gives Hande a friendly smile and shakes his head, ”No, it doesn't sound silly at all. It's good you have ways to avoid thinking about work during your free time.” Hande smiles back, separates her hair in two parts and starts to braid the other half. Julian is looking at her procedure and his curiosity takes over, ”Uhm, may I ask what are you going to do?” Hande glances at Julian before she turns back and continues braiding, ”I'm going to make two braids and pull them over my head, like a headband. Then no one gets the opportunity to try and pull my hair.” Julian seems to think for a moment and before he can reconsider he asks, ”Do you... Do you want me to braid the other half? It'd be faster that way.” Hande turns to face Julian, looking surprised, but also a little amused, her eyebrows raising. Before Hande can say anything Julian blurts, ”Uhm, I can braid... I have a little sister... I used to braid her hair sometimes.”</p><p>Hande's eyes widen for a little moment – she didn't expect to hear something like that. She recovers from her shock quickly and beckons Julian to come closer. Julian understands that Hande has accepted his offer and tentatively starts to braid her hair. It feels slippery and soft in his hands – completely different than Pasha's hair. ”Tell me about her. Your sister, I mean,” Hande asks silently after a moment of silence. Julian chuckles and starts to tell while braiding, ”Her name is Pasha. She's three years older than you and we grew up in Nevivon together...” He continues telling about his sister while they are working on Hande's hairstyle. Hande looks satisfied and compliments Julian's work which causes the poor doctor to blush again. When the duo is ready Julian dramatically offers his arm to Hande, who laughs and with an exaggerated curtsey takes it. ”Well, Doctor Devorak, show me the way!”</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>***</p>
</div>Hande looks curiously at the sign above her head: The Rowdy Raven. She has never been here before and she's curious to see it. The place seems to be a tavern, but it looks rather cozy when she peeks through the window. Still, she can't help feeling a little nervous – what if she ends up being too obviously out of place? Well, fortune favors the brave, as they say... Hande lets Julian lead her into the tavern. They're welcomed with loud laughter and music playing in the background – there's a band playing in a corner. That makes Hande feel herself more at home, if you could call a tavern a home.<p>The young woman looks around her. There are locals and people from abroad, all of them having a good time chatting or playing cards with each other. People who notice her and Julian entering turn to greet her teacher with joy on their faces. Hande tenses a little, because it is clear, that Julian is very popular person in here, and Hande is... Well, she's here for the first time in her life, although she's lived in Vesuvia for almost a year. Julian squeezes Hande with his arm reassuringly, ”I'd get us some food and drinks. Do you have any wishes?” Hande looks a little pensive, but she decides it's better to speak than stay silent. ”Uhm... Are there... Are there any non-alcoholic drinks? I'm a teetotaler...” she whispers uncertainly.</p><p>Julian freezes on the spot. <i>Shit. Congratulations, you've fucked up and brought a teetotaler to a tavern.. You idiot...</i> His faces turns red again and he sputters, ”I-I'm sorry! I didn't know that...” Hande notices Julian's panicking and hurries to assuring him, ”No, no, it's fine! I don't mind others drinking, well at least if they're not steaming... I've just never amused to drink alcohol myself... It isn't because of any belief, if that's any comfort...” Julian is surprised, how Hande is nervous about his reaction, and can't help but smile to her, ”No, you don't need to worry! I don't mind at all, and you're not obliged to explain your reasons, if you don't want to. There should be also some non-alcoholic drinks, so no harm done.” Hande smiles to him thankfully which makes Julian a little giddy. <i>No, concentrate. Go and order your food and drinks!</i> </p><p>Hande waits by a table when Julian gives their orders to a barkeeper. The young woman glances around, observing other patrons curiously, wondering where some of them might come from. Soon Julian comes back with their drinks. ”Barth said he'll bring the food soon,” he says, handing her a glass with lime green liquid in it. ”I hope you like this one, I wasn't quite sure what to get,” Julian says, looking a little embarrassed. Hande smiles at him reassuringly and takes a little sip from her drink. It's suitably sweet with citrus aroma – probably lemon and lime combined. ”This is so good! Dr. Devorak, how did you manage to choose a drink I like so much?” Hande asks sounding impressed, which makes the poor Julian to blush again. ”Well, erm... I wish I could say it was intuition, but... uhm... I remember how you once told me you like lemons so...” the man stammers. Now it's Hande's turn to get embarrassed; she doesn't blush visibly, but she can feel her cheeks burn. <i>Julian remembers random things I've mentioned to him?</i> ”You're way too good friend for me... I really am flattered, that you remember my ramblings.” </p><p>A little later Barth, the barkeeper, brings their meals in front of them and they eat in comfortable silence, sometimes asking or commenting something. Hande finds the tavern's atmosphere a little rowdy, but not hostile, and she feels more at ease. It's nice to spend time with Julian and see him outside of their work. Suddenly Hande's concentration turns to a discussion a few tables away. There are four men discussing in a foreign language which Hande recognises as Hjallean. She gets excited – she hasn't met any people from her mother's hometown for a long time. She apologises Julian and turns to face the men, ”Förlåt mig. Är ni från Hjalle?¹” The men turn to face Hande, looking positively surprised, ”Ja. Hur kan du tala hjalska, är du från där också?²” Hande smiles and answers, ”Jag föddes i Karnassos. Min mamma är från Hjalle, men hon tillhör Skogsfolket.³” The quintet continues their excited conversation. Julian smiles and watches how Hande speaks fluently in Hjallean, and listens when she finds out that the men are sailors and actually know her grandfather. Hande seems so happy to hear from her family that Julian can feel it, too. He also can't help, but to miss his own family a little. </p><p>A little later Julian also joins the conversation which causes the men and Hande to cheer in surprise. The group has a friendly conversation and orders drinks to each other, until the band starts to play a Hjallean folk song which causes the sailors and Hande to sing along. Julian can't help but notice how Hande's voice is clear and beautiful, echoing above hollering of the sailors. To be entirely honest, Julian is mesmerized my her voice – she sounds like a siren, without ill intent, of course. After the song had ended, the sailors cheer to Hande, who looks a little humbled after getting that much attention, but still has a small smile on her face.  The band's leader shouts to their table, ”Since the miss sang so beautifully, you can decide our next song!” Hande glances at Julian with a confused expression on her face. Julian just smiles to her encouragingly and winks. Hande smirks and states, ”I will decide, but on one condition: I get to play it, too.” </p><p>The band leader looks curious, ”Can the miss play, as well?” Hande nods and answers, ”Yes, I can play the fiddle. I've had lessons since I was a little girl.” The other band members grin and the fiddler steps up, handing their instrument to Hande. She stands up and walks to the corner, inspecting the fiddle for a moment. After she's satisfied, she tunes the instrument and asks, ”Do you know this song?” Hande plays a little part as a sample and the band leader chuckles and agrees. The leader gives a mark about starting the song and Hande joins the band. Julian is awed: this woman doesn't have a single drop of alcohol in her, and she still is having the time of her life. Joyful, wonderful singer and player even – and she's never mentioned any of that to him. This fascinating combination of humbleness and showmanship. Julian watches how Hande's fingers move on the fiddle, how concentrated she is. The song is a little melancholic, but still eventful and fast. The world seems to disappear: there's only music and Hande. </p><p>The enchantment is broken when the song ends. Hande remembers where she is and is a little flabbergasted by her courage, but is happy that she played. She doesn't remember when was the last time she had this much fun – in Julian's company she feels at ease, like her old self is coming back to life after so many years. Hande turns to see Julian who is cheering and applauding to them with the others at the tavern. The band leader thanks her when she gives the fiddle back to its owner and returns to her companion. ”Wow... I didn't know you could sing or play!” Julian compliments when she sits down. Hande lowers her gaze for a moment, but soon looks up and shrugs, ”Well... You don't need singing or playing when you're trying to be a doctor's apprentice. To be honest, complimenting myself is really hard for me, and I got this temporary moment of courage. I haven't played in front of an audience for years.” Julian smiles to Hande and feels warmth inside of him – he isn't sure if it's because of alcohol or his company. <i>Concentrate. She's your apprentice.</i> Julian clears his throat and speaks again, ”Did you like it? Playing in front of an audience, I mean.” Hande seems pensive before she gives a hesitant answer, ”Yes.” </p><p>Before Julian can say or do anything else, one of the sailors cut in. ”You should be proud of yourself, you really did great back there! Was that a Forestian song? I recognised it, but I'm not sure.” Hande turns to face the sailors and nods, ”Yes. I was surprised the band knew it, but it was fun. Karnassian music is much more popular, so it's nice to hear Hjallean ones for a change.” The group continues their conversation, but Julian is mostly concentrated on Hande. When they are telling about their work to the sailors, Julian, now a little tipsy, tells in surprising excitement, ”Yes... But you know what? Hande here, she... She can do MAGIC!” Hande doesn't have time to react before the sailors gasp in excitement and plead her to show them. Julian now realises he might have screwed up and tries to come to her rescue, but Hande speaks after a little silence, ”Would you like to hear a story? I can illustrate it with magic.” The sailors and even Julian show their enthusiasm for the idea. One of the sailors suggest a scary story and Hande proceeds, telling a Karnassian story about a jinn who fell in love with a human, but in time the human went mad for being so close to the jinn.</p><p>Probably for the first time in his life, Julian is awed by seeing magic. The light figures dancing in the air while Hande tells the story such a fascinating way make Julian feel giddy, almost like a child again. Being with Hande here and how... radiant she is, it's nearly overwhelming. The story is indeed scary, but he can't help but smile at her, and his heart jumps when Hande gives him a little smile back with her sparkling eyes. Other patrons have also gathered around watching the spectacle and shower Hande with compliments after the story is over. The sailors try to ask her to tell another, but Hande chuckles, ”I'm sorry, guys, but magic can be very taxing and I don't want to exhaust myself after a long day.” The sailors groan in disappointment, but still pat Hande on her shoulders, buying her one more drink. Julian hasn't bought any more drinks, because he tries not to get steaming, like Hande had expressed earlier – he doesn't want to make Hande feel uncomfortable. The music is compelling and he'd like to ask Hande to dance, but isn't sure if it's appropriate. </p><p>After a short internal debate, his reason seems to leave him, when Hande turns to look at him. Julian hasn't noticed it before, but now Hande's eyes look so beautiful, almost like the deep, blue water. His body starts to move on its own: he reaches his hand towards Hande, palm up and his mouth opens before he can think of it, ”Oh, miss Kuura... Would you like to have a dance with me?” Hande watches Julian's hand and laughs goodheartedly to his dramatic request. Julian is pretty sure Hande's thinking is pretending, but he still feels a little nervous. Finally Hande decides to save her teacher, ”Yes, I'd like that. Though, I must warn you, I haven't danced for a long time. I might be quite rusty.” Julian just chuckles and reassures his apprentice by saying that she'll be fine. Hande smiles to Julian again and gives her hand to him.</p><p>Julian places his hand on Hande's waist chastely and leads her to dance. His apprentice is a little tense at first, probably because they're first time this close to each other and because she is nervous about her dancing skills. ”Just relax, I got you,” Julian whispers to Hande, smiling to her reassuringly. Hande takes a deep breath and nods, trying to smile back, although the final result is a little lopsided. The current song is quite fast, just perfect for Julian. He guides Hande who seems to trust him enough and let the music, rhythm and Julian lead her. After a moment she relaxes and the dance feels more natural. Julian enjoys being this close to Hande, seeing her feeling comfortable in his arms. <i>She's so vibrant, so beautiful... I haven't noticed it before.</i> Julian tries to shake off his thoughts and have a little conversation with his apprentice, complimenting her dancing and telling how nice the evening has been. Hande smiles to him which makes him feel weak in his knees. <i>She enjoys my company, her laughter, so full of joy. It almost makes me forget the current situation...</i></p><p>The dance is enchanting and Julian wants the moment to never end. The band starts to play a different song, much more speedy than the last one. This causes Julian to get an idea. He faces Hande with a little smirk on his face. ”Hande, do you trust me?” he asks. Hande looks at Julian a little hesitant, but then lets out a little laugh, ”Yes, I do trust you, Julian. But please, don't kill me.” Hande's last remark causes Julian to bark a laughter and whisper into her ear, ”I wouldn't dream of it.” He tightens his grip of Hande and leads her to the outskirts of the dance floor. Hande only gets a little warning to brace herself, before Julian lifts her, so she's now standing on a chair, and he soon follows suit. Then he rises on a longer table, taking Hande with her. She lets out a surprised yelp, but recovers soon. ”Why, Julian, are you suggesting, that we'd dance on the table?” Hande whispers her question, and Julian can hear her mischievous tone. <i>Oh gods, she's a treasure.</i> Julian's smirk gets wider and he twirls Hande around before starting to dance properly. The band speeds up and patrons cheer to the duo while some of them try to save their pints. None of the things on the table gets knocked – Hande lets Julian lead her and he's done this before so he is very confident with his partner. The Rowdy Raven is filled with music, cheering and Hande's and Julian's laughter. Suddenly Hande takes the charge and dips Julian in the middle of the table, making him grab Hande for his life. Now it's Hande's turn to smirk and she leans in to whisper to Julian, ”Thank you, Julian. I didn't realise I needed this.” Julian blushes, but manages to give Hande a bashful smile, when Hande lifts him up and they continue their dance. Julian forgets everyone else and just gaze at Hande mesmerized, feeling happy for the first time for gods know how long. This intelligent, warm-hearted and beautiful person is dancing <i>with him</i>, smiling at <i>him</i>.</p><p>
  <i>Oh shit. I think I have a crush.</i>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Translations:</p><p>¹ ”Excuse me. Are you from Hjalle?<br/>² ”Yes. How can you talk Hjallean, are you from there, too?”<br/>³ ”I was born in Karnassos. My mom is from Hjalle, but she belongs to Forest people.”</p>
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